![](/sites/default/files/imported/Photos/170420_hug_2H.jpg)
After the Game: What do you say?
April 20, 2017
By Kevin Wolma
Hudsonville Athletic Director
“I love to watch you play.” Those are the six words a son or daughter wants to hear from his or her parents after a game.
What if your child does not play? What do you say then? Parents can’t say, “I love to watch you play” when your child does not play, nor can they say other post-competition statements like:
“Did you fight like a dog?”
“Did you have fun?”
It is hard to fight like a dog when not given the opportunity, and we all know players have more fun when they play in the game. When you google the phrase, “what to say after a game,” there are all sorts of articles written with some of them backed by research. However, when you google the phrase – “what to say when your kid does not play” – very little comes out of that search.
Why?
This is a hard and very sensitive area for most parents to come up with the right thing to say.
Before we talk about what to say in this situation, it may be more important to discuss what not to say after a game where your child does not play. Some of the comments all parents should avoid are:
“Why have you not played in the last three games? Your coach must not like you for some reason.”
“Your coach is clueless; he has no idea what he is doing.”
“You are way better than Johnny! I can’t believe he is playing more minutes than you.”
“Did you see how many mistakes Suzie made? I know if you were given the opportunity you would not make those same mistakes.”
Parents will often say these things because they are frustrated, and parents think they are comforting their child by giving them an excuse. What these comments actually do is create a divisive culture within a team. After hearing these negative comments over and over again, the athlete will eventually believe it only to see his or her attitude and effort become negatively affected over time. That athlete turns into a selfish teammate.
Now let’s put yourself in the situation where your child comes home after a game after not playing. What do you say?
The first thing you could do is talk about the game itself. Recount certain plays and make note of individuals who played well for both teams. This initial conversation takes the uncomfortable nature of the situation and sets the stage to talk about how athletes feel about not getting into the game.
There may be times when your child will not want to talk about it because he or she is upset, angry or even embarrassed. These moments of silence give the parents an opportunity to talk about the importance of being a good teammate and how an athlete can have a major impact on the team no matter what role is played. They can teach how to be the first person off the bench to congratulate or give a word of encouragement to teammates. Parents also can point out that the harder athletes work in practice, the better it is going to make the team.
In other words, we have the responsibility as parents to teach our kids the significance of living life pointed out no matter the circumstance. Living pointed out simply means to put others before yourself in everything you do. Finding ways to make the people around you the best they can be. No complaining. No excuses.
Andrew DeWitt played two years of Varsity basketball for me at Hudsonville, and he rarely had the opportunity to play. Unfortunately for him, he was a good player on two really good teams with lots of talent. He understood his role and treated practices like games – playing as hard as he could.
He would elevate the intensity of practice every day. On game nights, he was our biggest cheerleader. His impact went way beyond scoring points or getting rebounds.
Andrew’s parents were great teachers as they guided him through those tough times where it would have been easy to make an excuse or complain. Instead, they taught Andrew he could always have an influence on other people’s lives despite the role he played. What a great lesson that Andrew can carry with him for the rest of his life.
At the end of the day, one thing every parent in every situation can say that will have a positive impact is, “I love you.” Many times athletes think they are letting their parents down because of their lack of playing time. Knowing that their parents love them the same whether they play a lot or not at all has a significant impact on how the student-athlete responds to adversity, and specifically not playing in games.
I challenge all parents to use these potentially negative situations as a way to teach student-athletes valuable lessons on what it means to be a great teammate – and more importantly in teaching them to live their life pointed out. There may not be a simple six-word phrase to say when your child does not play, but there is definitely plenty to talk about.
Wolma has served as Hudsonville's athletic director since 2011 and previously coached boys varsity basketball and girls varsity golf among other teams. He also previously taught physical education and health.
![](/sites/default/files/imported/Photos/200505_Ford_2H.jpg)
Put a Stop to Recurring Injuries
May 5, 2020
By Nick Parkinson, M.Ed., AT, ATC, TSAC-F
Henry Ford Health System
Recurring injuries happen — and they're especially common among single-sport athletes or people who focus on one type of exercise, like runners. The reason: You're working the same muscles repeatedly. The end result: Your joints, muscles and tissues get worn out.
Breaking Down Recurring Injuries
Overuse injuries are a big deal. Continuing to re-injure the same muscle groups can take you out of the game entirely and limit your ability to participate in other activities. Here's what you need to know about these all-to-common ailments:
What are Recurring Injuries?
Recurring injuries, also called repetitive and overuse injuries, are injuries that happen repeatedly in the same location. Think along the lines of tendinitis, stress fractures, shin splints and even carpal tunnel syndrome. Common sites include ankles, knees, hips and shoulders.
Who is at Risk for Repetitive Injuries?
Overuse injuries can happen to anyone, but they're more likely to occur among workers who do repetitive motions and single-sport athletes. The risk of these injuries also increases with age. They're more likely to occur if you don't recognize the impact aging can have on your muscles, joints and tissues and modify your activities accordingly.
Why Do Recurring Injuries Happen?
Recurring injuries happen when you overuse the same muscles without sufficient recovery. It's simple body mechanics: If you continue using compromised muscles, you're more likely to get reinjured. And once you get stuck in that same biomechanic loop, it's nearly impossible to recover without changing your routine and learning new techniques.
How Can You Prevent Recurring Injuries?
All sports have a risk of injury. The key is paying attention to your body and taking the appropriate steps to minimize your risk. Here's how:
• Use appropriate gear. Make sure you're wearing appropriate protective gear for the activity you're participating in and choose the right footwear.
• Alternate muscle groups. Instead of focusing on one type of exercise, switch things up. Incorporate low-impact activities, such as swimming, biking and water sports, and make sure you're not overloading any particular muscle group.
• Take rest days. It's important to give your muscles, joints and tissues time to recover. Two days of rest each week is best. If you play a sport, plan to have at least one off day per week and at least one month off per year.
• Strengthen muscles. Conditioning exercises can help strengthen the muscles you need to perform various activities.
• Use proper form. Overuse injuries are sometimes related to improper form during activity. Work with a professional to ensure you're using proper body mechanics and get back to your usual activities gradually.
Play it Safe
The best way to avoid recurrent injuries is to not get injured in the first place. Recover during the season — even if it means missing out on some play. It's better to show up to a game healthy but undertrained than to power through an injury and risk reinjury.
Talk to your doctor before starting a new activity or ramping up your current routine. If you're at risk of developing a recurrent injury, a professional can provide you with a workout regimen that can help prevent injury.
Most important: Don't let an overuse injury prevent you from being physically active. Instead, listen to your body, consult a professional and pace yourself. Treatment may involve avoiding a specific activity for a period of time, along with hot and cold therapy, massage and focused rehabilitation.
Nick Parkinson, M.Ed., AT, ATC, TSAC-F, is the Supervisor of Athletic Training with Henry Ford Sports Medicine and also leads Sports Performance training at the William Clay Ford Center for Athletic Medicine. Learn more about Nick.
Want to learn more? Henry Ford Health System sports medicine experts are treating the whole athlete, in a whole new way. From nutrition to neurology, and from injury prevention to treatment of sports-related conditions, they can give your athlete a unique game plan.
Visit henryford.com/sports or call (313) 972-4216 for an appointment within 24 business hours.