NFHS Voice: Lessons Learned in Loss
January 31, 2020
By Karissa Niehoff
NFHS Executive Director
Sometimes in life things simply do not happen as planned. The unexpected is always right around the corner. When these situations occur, we must adapt to change and determine the best steps in moving forward.
Such was the case in selecting the subject for this week’s “Voice.” We were set on addressing the ugly spotlight on professional baseball with the recent sign-stealing incidents and that high school sports is not and must not be about “winning at any cost.”
This is certainly a worthy subject. High school sports is about competing fairly and doing things the right way. The wrong in the baseball scandal was not getting caught; it was players and managers believing that cheating was an acceptable means to winning. These are not the kind of heroes we want to follow.
And then came the events of Sunday morning in California. It was hard to fathom. Kobe Bryant and his 13-year-old daughter, Gianna, were no longer with us. Along with seven others on the helicopter that crashed that morning, Kobe and “Gigi” were on their way to what else – a basketball game.
As people from all over the world – both those who knew Kobe on a personal basis as well as casual fans – expressed their shock and sadness about this tragedy, there were consistent messages about the value of sports and family that were ever present.
While Kobe Bryant was one of the best basketball players ever to play the game, it was apparent that more so than all the all-star appearances and scoring titles and NBA championships, his impact came from the relationships formed through participating in sports – from Lower Merion High School in the Philadelphia suburb of Ardmore, Pennsylvania, to his 20 years with the Los Angeles Lakers.
And then it was about family as he supported his daughters, Natalia, who plays volleyball, and Gigi, a basketball player who was determined someday to play at the University of Connecticut, in their participation in sports. In an interview with PEOPLE Magazine in 2018, Bryant shared how he used his opportunity to coach his daughters in basketball as an opportunity to teach them valuable life lessons.
“A valuable life lesson that I can teach them is what it means to pursue excellence and the commitment level that comes with that,” Bryant said in the PEOPLE interview.
There are many lessons to be learned from this tragedy and the nine lives that were cut short. Our original plan of re-emphasizing that high school sports must not be about “winning at any cost” is certainly among those lessons. Success at the high school level has more to do with preparing students for their lives after high school than winning games or state championships.
Doing things the right way, playing the game the way it is supposed to be played, developing relationships and having fun along the way – that’s the message of high school sports.
As we listened to hundreds of people share their remembrances of Kobe Bryant the past few days, a few things were evident. Like all of us, he was not perfect; however, he showed us the power and influence of sports in our country. He played the game the right way, giving 100-percent effort every night. He regularly praised and supported others, always smiling. And he was passing on his love of sports to his daughters.
And the last lesson – be sure you tell those closest to you every day that you love them.
Dr. Karissa L. Niehoff is in her second year as executive director of the National Federation of State High School Associations (NFHS) in Indianapolis, Indiana. She is the first female to head the national leadership organization for high school athletics and performing arts activities and the sixth full-time executive director of the NFHS, which celebrated its 100th year of service during the 2018-19 school year. She previously was executive director of the Connecticut Association of Schools-Connecticut Interscholastic Athletic Conference for seven years.
Coaches Must Set the Example
October 15, 2012
By Scott Westfall
MSU Institute for the Study of Youth Sports
NOTE: This is part one of a two-part viewpoint explaining the importance of coaches and parents setting proper examples for young athletes in their treatment of game officials.
In light of the recent uproar over NFL replacement officials, it seems that never before has it been so common and socially accepted to yell disgust at referees.
While this trend is prevalent in both professional and college football, it has unfortunately trickled down into the high school ranks. What is actually accomplished when a coach or fan yells at an official? Do people really believe that if they become irate, a ‘bad call’ will be erased? In all of my years watching, playing, and coaching athletics, not once have I seen a referee change his or her ruling because a coach or a fan yelled at him or her.
When adults lose control and scream at referees, who does this bad behavior really affect? Since youth learn their emotional control from adult leaders, I believe the true damage is done to the young minds that are witnessing their mentors lose their cool. After their display of anger, how can these same adults hope for kids to stay calm when things do not go their way in life? It is pure hypocrisy to expect otherwise.
Whether we like it or not, referees are the absolute authority in athletic contests; they control the game from start to finish, make the tough calls on the playing surface, and even decide who gets to stay and who is sent to the locker room. Yet, it is baffling how often their authority is disrespected.
It is the coach’s responsibility to establish his or her program as one that respects authority. Since players watch all of the moves their coaches make, it is imperative that coaches respect the officials – especially when the calls do not go their way. If a player sees his or her coach going berserk due to a ‘bad call,’ the same player will think it is OK to act like this down the road when upset or faced with adversity. Even more detrimental to these kids is hearing their coach preach a message but contradict it by not backing it up with actions.
Great high school coaches will use the playing surface as an extension of their classroom. In my years as a head coach, I tried my hardest to set a good example for my players and told them to never question, back-talk, or disrespect an official. However, I made the mistake of breaking my own rule on one occasion by questioning the referee’s judgment.
When I was a younger coach, I may have attributed my actions to the heat of the moment, or defended myself on the criteria that I was trying to stick up for my team. However, being a veteran leader who wanted to practice what I preached, I saw my mistake as a teaching moment.
The next practice, when we conducted team discipline conditioning, “Reminders” (usually reserved for players with unacceptable school behavior or poor grades), I asked my players what I had taught them about respecting authority and if I had broken my own rule. The players agreed that I had broken my rule and had not respected the referee.
I let them know that this rule applied to me as much as them. I then lined-up on the goal line and ran my own set of wind sprints as the players, assistant coaches, and managers watched in disbelief. Afterward, to even my surprise, several players thanked me for holding myself accountable.
One kid even had tears in his eyes, and said that after watching my self-imposed discipline, he wanted more than ever to be a man of his word and do the right thing.
Scott Westfall has spent the last 10 years as a teacher, coach, and athletic director in Fort Collins, Colo. He currently is working on his Doctorate at Michigan State University, with an emphasis in Sport Psychology and Athletic Administration, and assisting the MHSAA with its student leadership programs. Westfall is a former athlete who participated in football, wrestling, tennis and cross country at the high school level, and rugby at the collegiate level. He can be reached at [email protected].
PHOTO: Scott Westfall celebrates with his football team while serving as a coach at Boltz Middle School in Fort Collins, Colo.