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NFHS Voice: Lessons Learned in Loss
January 31, 2020
By Karissa Niehoff
NFHS Executive Director
Sometimes in life things simply do not happen as planned. The unexpected is always right around the corner. When these situations occur, we must adapt to change and determine the best steps in moving forward.
Such was the case in selecting the subject for this week’s “Voice.” We were set on addressing the ugly spotlight on professional baseball with the recent sign-stealing incidents and that high school sports is not and must not be about “winning at any cost.”
This is certainly a worthy subject. High school sports is about competing fairly and doing things the right way. The wrong in the baseball scandal was not getting caught; it was players and managers believing that cheating was an acceptable means to winning. These are not the kind of heroes we want to follow.
And then came the events of Sunday morning in California. It was hard to fathom. Kobe Bryant and his 13-year-old daughter, Gianna, were no longer with us. Along with seven others on the helicopter that crashed that morning, Kobe and “Gigi” were on their way to what else – a basketball game.
As people from all over the world – both those who knew Kobe on a personal basis as well as casual fans – expressed their shock and sadness about this tragedy, there were consistent messages about the value of sports and family that were ever present.
While Kobe Bryant was one of the best basketball players ever to play the game, it was apparent that more so than all the all-star appearances and scoring titles and NBA championships, his impact came from the relationships formed through participating in sports – from Lower Merion High School in the Philadelphia suburb of Ardmore, Pennsylvania, to his 20 years with the Los Angeles Lakers.
And then it was about family as he supported his daughters, Natalia, who plays volleyball, and Gigi, a basketball player who was determined someday to play at the University of Connecticut, in their participation in sports. In an interview with PEOPLE Magazine in 2018, Bryant shared how he used his opportunity to coach his daughters in basketball as an opportunity to teach them valuable life lessons.
“A valuable life lesson that I can teach them is what it means to pursue excellence and the commitment level that comes with that,” Bryant said in the PEOPLE interview.
There are many lessons to be learned from this tragedy and the nine lives that were cut short. Our original plan of re-emphasizing that high school sports must not be about “winning at any cost” is certainly among those lessons. Success at the high school level has more to do with preparing students for their lives after high school than winning games or state championships.
Doing things the right way, playing the game the way it is supposed to be played, developing relationships and having fun along the way – that’s the message of high school sports.
As we listened to hundreds of people share their remembrances of Kobe Bryant the past few days, a few things were evident. Like all of us, he was not perfect; however, he showed us the power and influence of sports in our country. He played the game the right way, giving 100-percent effort every night. He regularly praised and supported others, always smiling. And he was passing on his love of sports to his daughters.
And the last lesson – be sure you tell those closest to you every day that you love them.
Dr. Karissa L. Niehoff is in her second year as executive director of the National Federation of State High School Associations (NFHS) in Indianapolis, Indiana. She is the first female to head the national leadership organization for high school athletics and performing arts activities and the sixth full-time executive director of the NFHS, which celebrated its 100th year of service during the 2018-19 school year. She previously was executive director of the Connecticut Association of Schools-Connecticut Interscholastic Athletic Conference for seven years.
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Adult Fans: HS Sports' Biggest Challenge
August 27, 2019
By Karissa Niehoff, NFHS Executive Director
and Mark Uyl, MHSAA Executive Director
Inappropriate adult behavior at high school athletic events in Michigan has reached epidemic proportion.
When more than 2,000 high school athletic directors were asked in a recent national survey what they like least about their job, 62.3 percent said it was “dealing with aggressive parents and adult fans.”
And the men and women who wear the black and white stripes agree. In fact, almost 80 percent of officials quit after the first two years on the job, and unruly parents are cited as the reason why. As a result, there is a growing shortage of high school officials here in Michigan, and in some sports like wrestling, swimming & diving and track & field, the shortage is severe. No officials means no more games.
If you are a parent attending a high school athletic event this fall, you can help by following these six guidelines:
1. Act Your Age. You are, after all, an adult. Act in a way that makes your family and school proud.
2. Don’t Live Your Life Vicariously Through Your Children. High school sports are for them, not you. Your family’s reputation is not determined by how well your children perform on the field of play.
3. Let Your Children Talk to the Coach Instead of You Doing It for Them. High school athletes learn how to become more confident, independent and capable — but only when their parents don’t jump in and solve their problems for them.
4. Stay in Your Lane. No coaching or officiating from the sidelines. Your role is to be a responsible, supportive parent — not a coach or official.
5. Remember, Participating in a High School Sport Is Not About Getting a College Scholarship. According to the NCAA, only about two percent of all high school athletes are awarded a sports scholarship, and the total value of the scholarship is only about $18,000.
6. Make Sure Your Children Know You Love Watching Them Play. Do not critique your child’s performance on the car ride home. Participating in high school sports is about character development, learning and having fun — not winning and losing.
Purchasing a ticket to a high school athletic event does not give you the right to be rude, disrespectful or verbally abusive. Cheer loud and be proud, but be responsible and respectful. The future of high school sports in Michigan is dependent on you.
The Michigan High School Athletic Association (MHSAA) is one of 51 members of the National Federation of State High School Associations (NFHS).