Let's Learn What This Time Can Teach Us
April 8, 2020
By Kevin Wolma
Hudsonville Athletic Director
A simple service return that landed into the net last fall ended my son’s tennis career.
When you are a senior, there is an end date. Just like that it is over.
Seems like yesterday I was playing catch with him in the front yard. Seems like yesterday I was rebounding as he shot at our basketball hoop. Seems like yesterday I put a tennis racquet in his hands for the first time. The success and failures along with the laughter and frustration all came to an end.
Along the way people would warn me about how fast the time goes, but when you are living day to day, you don’t really believe them. Going into the final day of the season, I had those thoughts that this would be the last day I’d watch my son play a competitive tennis match, but it didn't really hit me until I watched that last ball go into the net.
However, I also realized that we were going to experience many final moments during his senior year and this was a natural part of the journey. What I didn't know on that day was that this was the very last time I would see him compete. The cancellation of spring sports season with the COVID-19 crisis took that opportunity away from him competing in track & field this spring.
We never know when things will be taken away from us.
Administrators, Athletes, Coaches, Officials, Trainers:
Do you have a message that will provide inspiration, motivation or comfort to Michigan’s high school sports community during this unprecedented time? We’d like to help share it. Submit your “viewpoint” – written or video – to [email protected] for consideration for publication on Second Half.
My daughter, also a senior, will also lose the opportunity to finish her tennis career at Hudsonville because of the COVID-19 shutdown. For the two of us, tennis was more than a sport – it was our connection. From the time she was 5 years old hitting foam balls in the gym to now, the tennis court became far more than a surface with a net and lines.
The tennis court was our place of solitude. We hit thousands and thousands of tennis balls over the years. But more importantly, the tennis court created a platform where lessons were shared, stories of success and failure were told, and a love for a sport was born. I dread the day the tennis court sits silent, because that means my daughter will move on to her next stage in life. That time could be now.
Sports is not the end-all, and it surely does not define a person. However, it is a mechanism to bring people together and to teach life lessons that are often taken for granted, until we realize it is over.
The purpose of this article is not to talk about the end as much as it is to emphasize the importance of those moments leading to the end. Don’t let those moments slip away. If your son or daughter asks you to go outside and play catch, please put down the computer or phone and do it. The email can wait. The phone call can wait. The game on TV can wait.
Admittedly, I have been occasionally guilty of this as well and now realize the importance of time and how unpredictable it can be. I have one more chance with my youngest daughter to make sure we don’t take those moments for granted. They are moments we will never get back, and again, we never know when those moments will be taken away.
As a high school athletic director, all I’ve wanted was more time. Sixty plus-hour work weeks while trying to navigate work and home schedules is often a challenge. Many of us live this life every day. We all would like more time.
However, over a 48-hour span during the month of March 2020, time was all I had. In those two days, after the Utah Jazz’ Rudy Gobert tested positive for COVID-19, both the NCAA and NBA shut down while schools and businesses began closing their doors indefinitely.
Now, time is all any of us have.
My hope is that we realize time is a gift and we must be willing to receive it when available. Take advantage of the time to regain a perspective of what is really important in our lives and act on that. This moment in time will end and for many of us, our lives will resume juggling personal, work, and sports schedules. Are we ready? Did we take this “time off” from the busyness of life and focus on how we can maximize every moment of every day?
For some of us, this gives us a chance to hit the restart button and maybe look at youth sports through a different lens. Maybe our interactions with our kids, coaches, and officials will be more positive. Maybe we worry less about the outcome and more about the process. Once we get back to the playing field, maybe we will look at participation in sports differently. Maybe we will understand that it is truly a gift, and every gift deserves a level of gratitude – gratitude toward the many people who allow this experience, and all its life lessons, to transpire.
Years from now, when we look back at the year of COVID-19, will we still value the essence of time and living in the moment? Will we still give gratitude to the gift of sports? Each one of us wants to look back at our kid’s experiences with athletics and have no regrets. No regrets with our actions. No regrets with our time. We have an opportunity as parents right now to pause, reflect, and make changes that could impact youth sports for generations to come.
We must seize this opportunity now because this part of life will be over before we know it. For some of us, maybe even more quickly than we expected.
Wolma has served as Hudsonville's athletic director since 2011 and previously coached boys varsity basketball and girls varsity golf among other teams. He also previously taught physical education and health. Photo courtesy of the Hudsonville High School tennis programs.
NFHS Voice: Coaches, ADs Keys to Success
December 3, 2019
By Karissa Niehoff
NFHS Executive Director
This fall, one school canceled the remainder of its football season after reports of hazing surfaced. There have been several incidents of high school student-athletes using racial slurs against members of the opposing teams. As we have noted previously, there have also been multiple reports of parents verbally and – in some cases – physically abusing officials, along with several cases of coaches allegedly running up scores. And then there was the bizarre case of a suspended player appearing in a game disguised as another player.
On the positive side, there was a cross country runner who stopped at the one-mile mark of a race to assist a competing runner who had collapsed and was unresponsive. He didn’t finish the race, but he saved the life of the competing runner.
After the completion of a recent football game, one player on the winning team found his friend on the other team who had just lost his mother to cancer to comfort and pray with him. There have also been cases of schools helping other schools that were hit with tragedies, such as the fires in California.
And earlier this year a high school golfer who, after signing her scorecard, noticed on the app that her partner had entered an incorrect score for her on one hole. She could have kept quiet and retained her top-10 finish, and most likely no one would have noticed. Instead, she reported the error and was disqualified. She later was honored by her school for doing the right thing.
Fortunately, there are far more good acts of sportsmanship that happen in high school athletics and activity programs; however, the unsportsmanlike displays tend to make more headlines and sometimes overshadow the great things that are occurring.
The key individuals in schools who are responsible for making education the central theme of the athletic program are the athletic directors and coaches. If coaches are more committed to helping student-athletes become responsible citizens than helping them perfect an athletic skill, and if athletic directors are committed to an education-based philosophy, the likelihood of unsportsmanlike incidents such as those mentioned above is minimal.
What’s the measure of success for a high school coach – winning 80 percent of the games, bringing home multiple state championships, being named coach of the year several times? As long as success on the fields or courts is done in accordance with an education-based philosophy, this would be an award-winning biographical sketch.
The win-loss record aside, however, how about also considering the consistent teaching of values, character and lifelong lessons that would place his or her teams in consideration for sportsmanship awards and his or her student-athletes on the paths to successful lives after high school?
The NFHS has several free online education courses to assist coaches and athletic directors in leading an effective education-based program. “Engaging Effectively with Parents,” “Sportsmanship” and “Bullying, Hazing and Inappropriate Behaviors” are among the many courses at www.NFHSLearn.com. In addition, “Fundamentals of Coaching” is the core course that every interscholastic coach should complete.
When a school district is looking to hire a high school athletic director or coach, we would suggest finding someone more committed to an education-based philosophy than hardware in the trophy case.
Dr. Karissa L. Niehoff is in her second year as executive director of the National Federation of State High School Associations (NFHS) in Indianapolis, Indiana. She is the first female to head the national leadership organization for high school athletics and performing arts activities and the sixth full-time executive director of the NFHS, which celebrated its 100th year of service during the 2018-19 school year. She previously was executive director of the Connecticut Association of Schools-Connecticut Interscholastic Athletic Conference for seven years.