Let's Learn What This Time Can Teach Us
April 8, 2020
By Kevin Wolma
Hudsonville Athletic Director
A simple service return that landed into the net last fall ended my son’s tennis career.
When you are a senior, there is an end date. Just like that it is over.
Seems like yesterday I was playing catch with him in the front yard. Seems like yesterday I was rebounding as he shot at our basketball hoop. Seems like yesterday I put a tennis racquet in his hands for the first time. The success and failures along with the laughter and frustration all came to an end.
Along the way people would warn me about how fast the time goes, but when you are living day to day, you don’t really believe them. Going into the final day of the season, I had those thoughts that this would be the last day I’d watch my son play a competitive tennis match, but it didn't really hit me until I watched that last ball go into the net.
However, I also realized that we were going to experience many final moments during his senior year and this was a natural part of the journey. What I didn't know on that day was that this was the very last time I would see him compete. The cancellation of spring sports season with the COVID-19 crisis took that opportunity away from him competing in track & field this spring.
We never know when things will be taken away from us.
Administrators, Athletes, Coaches, Officials, Trainers:
Do you have a message that will provide inspiration, motivation or comfort to Michigan’s high school sports community during this unprecedented time? We’d like to help share it. Submit your “viewpoint” – written or video – to [email protected] for consideration for publication on Second Half.
My daughter, also a senior, will also lose the opportunity to finish her tennis career at Hudsonville because of the COVID-19 shutdown. For the two of us, tennis was more than a sport – it was our connection. From the time she was 5 years old hitting foam balls in the gym to now, the tennis court became far more than a surface with a net and lines.
The tennis court was our place of solitude. We hit thousands and thousands of tennis balls over the years. But more importantly, the tennis court created a platform where lessons were shared, stories of success and failure were told, and a love for a sport was born. I dread the day the tennis court sits silent, because that means my daughter will move on to her next stage in life. That time could be now.
Sports is not the end-all, and it surely does not define a person. However, it is a mechanism to bring people together and to teach life lessons that are often taken for granted, until we realize it is over.
The purpose of this article is not to talk about the end as much as it is to emphasize the importance of those moments leading to the end. Don’t let those moments slip away. If your son or daughter asks you to go outside and play catch, please put down the computer or phone and do it. The email can wait. The phone call can wait. The game on TV can wait.
Admittedly, I have been occasionally guilty of this as well and now realize the importance of time and how unpredictable it can be. I have one more chance with my youngest daughter to make sure we don’t take those moments for granted. They are moments we will never get back, and again, we never know when those moments will be taken away.
As a high school athletic director, all I’ve wanted was more time. Sixty plus-hour work weeks while trying to navigate work and home schedules is often a challenge. Many of us live this life every day. We all would like more time.
However, over a 48-hour span during the month of March 2020, time was all I had. In those two days, after the Utah Jazz’ Rudy Gobert tested positive for COVID-19, both the NCAA and NBA shut down while schools and businesses began closing their doors indefinitely.
Now, time is all any of us have.
My hope is that we realize time is a gift and we must be willing to receive it when available. Take advantage of the time to regain a perspective of what is really important in our lives and act on that. This moment in time will end and for many of us, our lives will resume juggling personal, work, and sports schedules. Are we ready? Did we take this “time off” from the busyness of life and focus on how we can maximize every moment of every day?
For some of us, this gives us a chance to hit the restart button and maybe look at youth sports through a different lens. Maybe our interactions with our kids, coaches, and officials will be more positive. Maybe we worry less about the outcome and more about the process. Once we get back to the playing field, maybe we will look at participation in sports differently. Maybe we will understand that it is truly a gift, and every gift deserves a level of gratitude – gratitude toward the many people who allow this experience, and all its life lessons, to transpire.
Years from now, when we look back at the year of COVID-19, will we still value the essence of time and living in the moment? Will we still give gratitude to the gift of sports? Each one of us wants to look back at our kid’s experiences with athletics and have no regrets. No regrets with our actions. No regrets with our time. We have an opportunity as parents right now to pause, reflect, and make changes that could impact youth sports for generations to come.
We must seize this opportunity now because this part of life will be over before we know it. For some of us, maybe even more quickly than we expected.
Wolma has served as Hudsonville's athletic director since 2011 and previously coached boys varsity basketball and girls varsity golf among other teams. He also previously taught physical education and health. Photo courtesy of the Hudsonville High School tennis programs.
Expert Teammates Fill Health Roster
January 2, 2020
By Rob Kaminski
MHSAA benchmarks editor
Teamwork is a necessity in athletics. The MHSAA has put together the beginnings of a solid roster to combat mental health ailments throughout schools in the state.
Among the experts listed on the MHSAA Mental Health Speakers Bureau are Christy Buck, executive director, and Cat Lanting, program coordinator at the Mental Health Foundation of West Michigan; and Brooke Buys, mental and behavioral health specialist and founder of BLND Health. They already are serving MHSAA schools in various capacities.
Through personal appearances, promotional videos and staff availability, both organizations emphasize the same strategy when tackling mental health issues: recognition and treatment from within the school buildings and districts.
“We wanted to create self-starting kits that anyone in the district can implement,” said Lanting. “We have in-person trainings and opportunities for students to get together – students talking to students – for high schools and for middle schools.”
Lanting coordinates the be nice.® Action Plan, founded by Buck. The plan calls for people to “notice, invite, challenge and empower” when recognizing changes in those close to them.
“It’s an attractive statement, but the key to the action plan is that it’s transferable. It can work from the pre-K level to senior citizens,” she said. “We want people to notice change, invite people into the conversation, challenge stigmas, and empower themselves with knowledge surrounding mental health.”
Buys, meanwhile, is one of a team of behavioral health specialists delivering messages to student-athletes around the state. Many of her associates in BLND (pronounced “blend”) not only talk the talk, but have walked the walk as collegiate athletes.
“The best course of action for administrators, teachers, coaches is to strive to build and maintain trust with the student-athlete; have genuine, non-judgmental conversations to include open-ended questions and authentic concern,” said Buys, who played soccer at Kalamazoo College.
Both be nice.® and BLND staff members made appearances at schools this year to assist in promoting recognition. A 90-second video produced by be nice.® was included in all MHSAA online rules meetings this year, featuring endorsements from University of Michigan coaches Jim Harbaugh and Carol Hutchins and Michigan State University coaches Mark Dantonio and Tom Izzo.
“When our team met with Mark (Uyl) and some athletic directors in Spring 2019, the room was filled with people who have just started to recognize mental health as an issue. The challenge was to deliver a 90-second video promoting the be nice.® Action Plan with a quick turnaround so it was ready for the fall rules meetings,” said Lanting.
She encourages people to visit be nice.org and “take the be nice.® pledge.”
“be nice.® started in 2010, and when people first see it they think, ‘bullying prevention,’ but really it is an action plan that is evidence-based,” Lanting said. “The be nice.® Action Plan can be used anywhere – in the workplace, community organizations – but schools is where we started and where we are currently having the most impact.”
Connecting with the most people possible is the goal across the board. Buys encourages schools to utilize the “one-stop shopping method” in the BLND programming.
“An external referral service that is qualified, efficient, dynamic, and integrated in nature – like BLND – helps provide a one-stop shop for student-athletes and parents to receive the support they need,” said Buys.
Lanting agrees, stating, “The more students and parents become familiar with some of the signs and symptoms, the better. Coaches and teammates might be the first to notice a change in someone’s behavior whether through daily interaction or social media activity.”
Buys and company have noticed a few recent trends leading to school-aged anxiety and stress, and have people in place to visit groups and lead discussions.
“The signs and symptoms can be very individualized, but some general factors may include isolation, irritability, drastic changes to an individual’s common mood or behavior,” noted Buys. “Students can also be affected by major life changes such as parent divorce, break-up with significant other, changing schools, things of that nature.”
When Lanting receives inquiries from individual coaches regarding the be nice.® program, she encourages them to get entire teams or districts involved, because, “it’s a K-12 initiative, and sports is really a great place to start.”
Sport participation offers a different set of variables. Student-athletes enjoy additional support and guidance, but there is a flip side.
“Student-athletes do have access to more adult guidance through coaches, and certainly enjoy inclusion as part of a team, but they also tend to be more at risk for anxiety,” Lanting said.
Buys points out several reasons for this, including added expectations – whether from within or from peers, parents and coaches. They are also busier than many others.
“Time management is an issue for all of us, but student-athletes can have difficulties finding that rhythm,” Buys said. “This can cause a lot of anxiety if an area of the athlete’s life that they value is perceived as not getting the attention it needs.”
Another source of stress more likely to affect athletes is injuries.
“One of the biggest challenges in the athlete population dealing with stress and anxiety is the strong relationship between stress and injury,” said Buys. “Susceptibility to injury as well as the length of time for recovery are affected by stress.”
Identifying physical conditions is much simpler than recognizing behavioral ailments. That’s why it’s important for groups like BLND and be nice.® to teach the school population to self-diagnose.
Lanting coordinated a be nice.® football game between Holland/Zeeland-area high schools last fall, and is planning a similar event during a Fennville-Saugatuck boys basketball game this winter.
“We see all the ‘pink-out’ games and events for other causes, and that’s great,” Lanting said. “But a person in high school is so much more likely to be affected by mental health than suffer a physical ailment. That’s why the student-led part of this is so important; they tell us when things happen that might trigger certain behaviors.”
PHOTOS: (Top) be nice. founder Christy Buck (left) and program coordinator Cat Lanting pose with MSU men’s basketball coach Tom Izzo during production of a promotional video this summer. (Middle) The BLND Health Detroit Metro Team, including founder Brooke Buys (seated middle, second row from bottom.)