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After the Game: What do you say?
April 20, 2017
By Kevin Wolma
Hudsonville Athletic Director
“I love to watch you play.” Those are the six words a son or daughter wants to hear from his or her parents after a game.
What if your child does not play? What do you say then? Parents can’t say, “I love to watch you play” when your child does not play, nor can they say other post-competition statements like:
“Did you fight like a dog?”
“Did you have fun?”
It is hard to fight like a dog when not given the opportunity, and we all know players have more fun when they play in the game. When you google the phrase, “what to say after a game,” there are all sorts of articles written with some of them backed by research. However, when you google the phrase – “what to say when your kid does not play” – very little comes out of that search.
Why?
This is a hard and very sensitive area for most parents to come up with the right thing to say.
Before we talk about what to say in this situation, it may be more important to discuss what not to say after a game where your child does not play. Some of the comments all parents should avoid are:
“Why have you not played in the last three games? Your coach must not like you for some reason.”
“Your coach is clueless; he has no idea what he is doing.”
“You are way better than Johnny! I can’t believe he is playing more minutes than you.”
“Did you see how many mistakes Suzie made? I know if you were given the opportunity you would not make those same mistakes.”
Parents will often say these things because they are frustrated, and parents think they are comforting their child by giving them an excuse. What these comments actually do is create a divisive culture within a team. After hearing these negative comments over and over again, the athlete will eventually believe it only to see his or her attitude and effort become negatively affected over time. That athlete turns into a selfish teammate.
Now let’s put yourself in the situation where your child comes home after a game after not playing. What do you say?
The first thing you could do is talk about the game itself. Recount certain plays and make note of individuals who played well for both teams. This initial conversation takes the uncomfortable nature of the situation and sets the stage to talk about how athletes feel about not getting into the game.
There may be times when your child will not want to talk about it because he or she is upset, angry or even embarrassed. These moments of silence give the parents an opportunity to talk about the importance of being a good teammate and how an athlete can have a major impact on the team no matter what role is played. They can teach how to be the first person off the bench to congratulate or give a word of encouragement to teammates. Parents also can point out that the harder athletes work in practice, the better it is going to make the team.
In other words, we have the responsibility as parents to teach our kids the significance of living life pointed out no matter the circumstance. Living pointed out simply means to put others before yourself in everything you do. Finding ways to make the people around you the best they can be. No complaining. No excuses.
Andrew DeWitt played two years of Varsity basketball for me at Hudsonville, and he rarely had the opportunity to play. Unfortunately for him, he was a good player on two really good teams with lots of talent. He understood his role and treated practices like games – playing as hard as he could.
He would elevate the intensity of practice every day. On game nights, he was our biggest cheerleader. His impact went way beyond scoring points or getting rebounds.
Andrew’s parents were great teachers as they guided him through those tough times where it would have been easy to make an excuse or complain. Instead, they taught Andrew he could always have an influence on other people’s lives despite the role he played. What a great lesson that Andrew can carry with him for the rest of his life.
At the end of the day, one thing every parent in every situation can say that will have a positive impact is, “I love you.” Many times athletes think they are letting their parents down because of their lack of playing time. Knowing that their parents love them the same whether they play a lot or not at all has a significant impact on how the student-athlete responds to adversity, and specifically not playing in games.
I challenge all parents to use these potentially negative situations as a way to teach student-athletes valuable lessons on what it means to be a great teammate – and more importantly in teaching them to live their life pointed out. There may not be a simple six-word phrase to say when your child does not play, but there is definitely plenty to talk about.
Wolma has served as Hudsonville's athletic director since 2011 and previously coached boys varsity basketball and girls varsity golf among other teams. He also previously taught physical education and health.
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Workout Basics: Warm-Ups & Cool-Downs
February 3, 2021
By Nick Parkinson, M.Ed., AT, ATC, TSAC-F
Henry Ford Health Systems
You may know a good warm-up — and cool-down — are essential to getting a good workout. You may also know that warming up your muscles and stretching them out after exercise can help prevent injury and keep you at the top of your game.
They’re the two bookends that help maximize a workout. Unfortunately, a lot of exercise enthusiasts don’t know how to warm up and cool down correctly.
Warm-Up Basics
A warm-up is exactly what it sounds like: The goal is to warm up your muscles and prepare your body for whatever you’re asking it to do. Warming up increases your body temperature and helps blood flow to the muscles that you’re using.
So if you’re going to play soccer, your warm-up should touch all of the muscles in your legs and core. Shooting hoops? You’ll need to add shoulders and arms to your routine. Circuit training at the gym? Choose a warm-up that flexes all of the muscles you’re about to use.
The thing that all warm-ups have in common is that they require dynamic (or constantly moving) motion, not static stretching (holding poses for a certain amount of time). In fact, static stretching prior to a workout can inhibit power and strength, especially if you’re doing something like weightlifting.
The anatomy of a solid warm-up:
• Before any activity, do about 10 minutes of light cardiovascular activity, whether walking, biking or jogging.
• Dynamic stretches. After you get your muscles moving, do a series of lunges, jumping jacks or toe touches to stretch a bit.
• Dive in. When you start your workout, begin slowly and gradually increase power and speed.
Cool-Down Basics
After you’ve put your body through a challenge, a good cool-down is essential. It helps slow down your heart rate gradually, relax your muscles and stretch them out.
Cool-down routines should always include some type of motion before you get to static stretching, especially if you’ve just finished a high-intensity workout. Static stretching improves flexibility and performance and it can also help stave off future injury.
As with warm-ups, the right cool-down exercises depend on the activity you engaged in. If you biked for 20 miles, you might coast on your cycle for a while before coming to a stop. If you ran, you might jog or walk before you begin stretching. As with your warm-up, the key is addressing every muscle group you worked during your workout.
The anatomy of a solid cool-down:
• At the end of your workout, slow the pace and intensity of whatever activity you’re doing. So, if you’re running, slow to a jog and then a walk for 5 to 10 minutes before stopping.
• Stretch out the muscles you work, but don’t push past the point where you feel tight. Then, hold the position for at least 30 seconds. That’s how long it takes for the body to overcome its stretch reflex.
• Breathe through your stretches and make sure to finish your cool-down with deep, belly breaths.
Running short on time? Target muscle groups you may have injured in the past or that tend to get sore after activity. Cooling down will preserve your athleticism — and your ability to participate in daily activities — over the long term.
Be Good to Your Body
While there’s some controversy about whether warming up and cooling down can help prevent injury, there’s little dispute that they can help you ease in and out of activity.
The key is to find something that works for you. Your warm-up could be as simple as walking to the gym and doing a set of jumping jacks when you arrive. Your cool-down might just involve ending your workout 10 minutes early so you can slow down.
It doesn’t have to be complicated. It just has to give your heart and blood vessels a chance to breathe before and after activity.
Nick Parkinson, M.Ed., AT, ATC, TSAC-F, is the Supervisor of Athletic Training with Henry Ford Sports Medicine and also leads Sports Performance training at the William Clay Ford Center for Athletic Medicine. Learn more about Nick.
Want to learn more? Henry Ford Health System sports medicine experts are treating the whole athlete, in a whole new way. From nutrition to neurology, and from injury prevention to treatment of sports-related conditions, they can give your athlete a unique game plan.
Visit henryford.com/sports or call (313) 972-4216.