Valued Leaders Talk Sportsmanship

April 12, 2013

By Rob Kaminski
MHSAA benchmarks editor

Anyone who has attended an MHSAA sporting event has undoubtedly heard the public address announcements touting sportsmanship.

Sportsmanship is one of many lessons taught through school sports. But are today’s student-athletes the willing pupils in the subject? Or are too many kids opting for elective courses in showmanship offered via YouTube and cable networks?

While many involved in high school athletics have noticed a decline in sportsmanship, it’s not too late to inject this valuable ingredient back into our games. But efforts need to begin at the local level, and the scholastic environment needs to supplant community venues where poor sportsmanship often flourishes.

Seventeen coaches from all over the state chipped in to a benchmarks town hall discussion on sportsmanship. 

East Kentwood’s Dave Emeott: “I think it is easy to see that sportsmanship is at least diminished. I think sportsmanship starts in the home, but we cannot always depend on the household to teach these lessons. As we sit in the stands, we realize that if this is where they learn it, then we need to get to work. I think we need to teach parents what a good sport looks like, as well as students. It is apparent that students will be the kind of sports they are permitted to be. Most coaches want good sportsmanship, but struggle with the balance of teaching character and winning or losing.”

Middleville Thornapple-Kellogg’s Tamara Benjamin: “Sportsmanship could be endangered. If a parent is allowed to sit in the stands and berate coaches, officials, and other athletes, it’s difficult for our students to see that this behavior is wrong because it is being tolerated. My expectations for our girls’ behavior are made clear the first day of practice. I hold them accountable for themselves, and we go forward each day.”

Holland’s Don Kimble: “I believe that it starts at home; always looking for a reason for failure opens the door to unsportsmanlike behavior. On our team, sportsmanship is stressed within the team first; if you cannot be a sportsman to your teammates, then you cannot be to others.”

Grand Haven’s Kimberly Vincent: “We’re all about sportsmanship and work with students and parents to set expectations. There are too many people pointing fingers at other people about this subject, and I think coaches have to set the example.”

Battle Creek Pennfield’s Mike Roach: “Youth sports programs need to concentrate on sportsmanship and the fact that there are winners and losers in sports. By not keeping score, the kids do not learn how to win, nor do they learn how to handle losing. Keep score. Teach kids that it is not the end of the world to lose, but be gracious in winning and losing.”

***

It could be true that much of the focus on poor sportsmanship is a result of just that: the spotlight on poor sportsmanship, rather than the good.

Thornapple-Kellogg’s Abby Kanitz: “I think that too much focus is put on the unsportsmanlike situations.  There is much more good out there than bad; it just doesn't make for great stories. It does not take much more than one bad situation to ruin a game, competition or meet. I think sportsmanship comes from the coach. If your athletes know you have high expectations in this area, then their parents will know, too.”

Allegan’s Gary Ellis: “Sportsmanship is alive and well, though it is under attack. Students are exposed to so many examples of poor to horrendous sportsmanship on TV, that it seems to be the norm.” 

Bloomfield Hills Andover’s David Zulkiewski: “I see positive sportsmanship every day with my athletes, and that’s because we focus on it and make it part of our daily practice and competition. Our team is much more than swimming or diving; it’s about excelling at life. So many of our kids will not compete in athletics after high school, so we try to give them skills they can use in the real world. Being a good sport is one of those skills.”

Grand Haven’s James Richardson: “Kids want and need structure, and will uphold the guidelines as long as they are clearly defined and enforced consistently. As coaches we need to build relationships with the kids and teach them proper behavior, and serve as models for them.”

Holt’s Mike Van Antwerp: “Sportsmanship is still around. If kids respect their opponents as individuals, they are good sports. Most of them would get along well if they were on the same team, so it’s important they realize that. The kids they play against are no different from them. If they respect the game, respecting their opponent follows.”

***

To be sure, no coach worth his or her clipboard sets out to allow poor sportsmanship. But emphasizing proper conduct early and often should be as essential as conducting tryouts.

Munising’s Cathy Mutter: “Sportsmanship is an important part of high school sports and life in general. I always tell my athletes, ‘You do not deserve; you earn. You have to work hard, be positive and be fair.’ I teach them to strive to be the best they can be on the team, in the classroom, at the jobs they have, and at home in their family life. Many programs struggle due to the fact they do not work together as a unit. You are only as strong as your weakest link.”

Rockford’s Ed Van Portfliet: “The O-K Conference and the member schools have done a great job of promoting sportsmanship, and I think it’s alive and well in our area. We teach our players it’s important to play hard, but they also have to respect their opponent and the game. We don’t tolerate actions or play from our players that would be considered disrespectful or detrimental to the game.”

Warren Regina’s Diane Laffey: “We always talk sportsmanship at our team meetings, our parent meetings and our coaches meetings. I guess it is an endangered species in some areas – but I do not feel it has gotten anywhere near that point at our school. I make every effort to make sure that our athletes, teams, coaches and parents keep sportsmanship at the top of our list.”

Allegan’s Ellis: “Leagues have a responsibility to educate their students about proper behavior at high school athletic events and how to treat their opponents. Schools need to develop leaders – on teams and in the stands – who set the tone at contests. The biggest trophy given out at our year-end awards night is the sportsmanship trophy.”

Marshall’s Sue Hutchings: “Sportsmanship starts with the coaching staff respecting the players and hammering the philosophy home. If one of our players exhibits bad sportsmanship, they are taken out of the competition and made to apologize. And trust me, it has happened. Our conference coaches are all pretty tight and have worked together for a number of years. We all share the same philosophy and have very, very little trouble with bad sportsmanship.”

***

Sometimes, proper sportsmanship is simply woven into the fabric of a given sport.

Grand Rapids Forest Hills Northern/Forest Hills Eastern’s Brian Telzerow: “Sportsmanship in golf is the leader in integrity. There is no other sport that is as self-policing as is golf. The young men and women must play with honor and integrity, calling penalties on themselves with no referees present. There is no entitlement here. After we play, players shake hands with all other competitors in their groups. We also make it a practice to say thanks to the host team and to the host course personnel. This is intentional to instill gratitude for the privilege of playing this sport.”

Portland’s Jim Niebling: “Sportsmanship may very well be endangered, but not in high school tennis and certainly not on our teams in Portland. Just this season my No. 1 singles player was playing his arch rival in the league championship match. They had gone back and forth for years and both knew the implication of winning the match for the upcoming Regional and Final tournaments where they were surely going to have to play again. The loser would be seeded lower and would have decidedly more difficult draws. But when the other player, up a set, began to cramp in the second set, looking like he may not be able to finish the match, my player walked to his cooler, pulled out a Gatorade and handed it to his opponent.

“My player ended up losing that match, and he knew that was a possibility when he handed his opponent that Gatorade. If that’s not sportsmanship, I don’t know what is.”

Grand Haven’s Richardson: “Sportsmanship is promoted on our team because in wrestling we are only in charge of ourselves and our actions. It’s a sport that holds individuals accountable. It is difficult in our sport to place blame on others.”

Grand Rapids Kenowa Hills/Grandville’s Brenda McDonald: “I always have my girls practice good sportsmanship. They always thank the home team or say, ‘Good job,’ to the opposing team. Many of the girls know the girls on other teams from previous gymnastics classes, so they enjoy seeing them again.”

High School Coaches Survey Identifies Parental Concerns

More than 3,000 high school coaches and athletic directors responded to a nationwide survey conducted by Growing Great Relationships (GGR) in cooperation with the National High School Coaches Association (NHSCA). The purpose of the survey was to understand what coaches and athletic directors see as their greatest needs concerning coach-parent and coach-athlete communication and relationships. GGR and NHSCA will use the results to design training and programs that address the identified needs.

The first section of the survey addressed issues surrounding parents of athletes. The first question asked coaches about their greatest concerns dealing with parents. More than 50 percent indicated over-involved parents as their No. 1 concern.

The second question asked coaches what they think parents are most concerned about. Overwhelmingly, nearly 80 percent reported the child’s amount of playing time as their perception of a parent’s biggest issue.

The next question asked coaches who are the most difficult parents. Athlete “wanna bes” were identified by 55 percent of the respondents.

Coaches then were asked what parents should do to support them. More than 70 percent indicated keeping them informed of personal difficulties their child was having at home. This was followed by 63 percent asking parents not to use social media regarding the team, or to gossip about the team or the coach’s expertise. Athletic directors’ responses were similar but with different percentages. Nearly 73 percent ranked not using social media or gossip about the team as the most important.

The second section of the survey asked coaches about their greatest concerns regarding relationships with their athletes. The first question asked coaches about the challenges they face communicating with student-athletes. Nearly 58 percent indicated an athlete receiving contradictory advice from parents and other coaches/advisers. This was followed closely with 55 percent stating an athlete’s inflated belief about his or her ability. Athletic director responses were similar but with somewhat different percentages. The greatest response, 70 percent, was the athlete receiving contradictory advice.

The second question asked the coaches for other factors interfering with their relationships with their student-athletes. The factor indicated by 58 percent of coaches was an athlete over-burdened with competing school demands (clubs, academics). For this particular question, the response from the athletic directors closely matched the coaches.

Athletic directors were asked that in their role what are their greatest concerns dealing with parents and athletes. The most frequent answer by 76 percent of athletic directors was parents bypassing coaches to complain directly to them.

In addition, nearly 500 coaches and athletic directors wrote in additional concerns that they have in their ability to communicate and work with athletes and their parents.

– Richard & Jane: Relationship Coaching

SAC Sound-Off: Drawing the Line at Our First Summit

October 9, 2012

By Kiersten Mead
Saginaw Swan Valley junior

Every two years, the Michigan High School Athletic Association conducts Sportsmanship Summits aiming to instruct athletes on how to be the best examples of sportsmanship in their communities, both while competing and cheering on their teams. Participants experience a variety of sessions, including one directed by members of the MHSAA Student Advisory Council. The first summit of this fall was Monday in Lansing; summits also will be held in Warren, Gaylord and Kalamazoo.

On the morning of the first Sportsmanship Summit of 2012, I was trying my hardest to not let my nerves and excitement get the best of me. 

As a member of the MHSAA Student Advisory Council, my role is to listen to and understand the points of view of student athletes, and share them with the MHSAA. I had spent the day before the summit preparing with the rest of my team, but I knew the sessions would be a learning experience for all of us. I was fortunate enough to be in a group with three seniors: Elle Lehman, Thye Fischman, and Matt Freeman, which made me feel a little more confident.

Our portion of the summit was to discuss the “gray areas” of sportsmanship. Our group knew that if we just sat there and gave some sort of lecture or speech, people would be bored to tears. 

So instead, we did it in an interactive way. We started by having everyone stand on the outside of a roped-off circle. We began asking questions – and if an answer applied to them, they were told to step over the line.

We started with random questions, like asking who preferred the University of Michigan over Michigan State. Slowly, we worked our way into sportsmanship-centered topics. We asked the more “black and white” questions that everyone generally saw eye-to-eye on first. These led into others like, “Is it okay, as a player, to flip off fans?” or even, “Is it considered bad to spit at a referee?”  If people thought that either “crossed the line” into bad sportsmanship, they were asked to step over the line.

Eventually, we started asking our “gray area” questions. For example, we asked if yelling “air ball” or “you, you, you” after a player makes a mistake is crossing the line. After everyone made their decisions, we asked them to share their thoughts and even personal experiences or stories. 

I absolutely loved this part of it! I really enjoyed hearing what people thought on certain topics, especially when I didn’t necessarily see things the same way. My favorite part of our session, though, was hearing all of the personal stories. There was always at least one person in each group that had his or her fair share of them. I would not have traded my job for anything! Although, I do think it would have been really cool to have taken part in the other sessions.

The idea of tweeting throughout the day with the hash tag “BOTF” (signifying Battle of the Fans) also was a lot of fun! It resulted in a lot of people following and connecting with others they would never have otherwise gotten to know. By the time the third group (of four) had entered our session, it was clear people were starting to get more comfortable with each other. 

In our session especially, there were quite a few things that surprised me. In some of the more “black and white” situations, there would sometimes be one person who thought some things were okay, while the rest of the group disagreed. It also surprised me how we would have a group very split on an issue, while another group would all see it the same way. When it’s all said and done though, I think people understood the message we were trying to convey.

In the end, the idea of the entire summit was that all of us should always be displaying positive sportsmanship. Many people told us there were things that their student sections do, that they know are wrong, yet they do them anyway. The point of this summit was to understand the importance of stepping up, being a leader, and leading by example. Nothing will change unless someone decides to take charge and change things for the better. 

My hope is the people who attended the summit at the Lexington Hotel in Lansing walked away understanding their views of something aren’t the only ways of seeing it. It’s always important to keep an open mind.

And to future participants of these sportsmanship summits, I say be prepared to get involved. Feel free to have your own opinion, whether it’s popular or not. Share your stories. But most of all, have fun!

Kiersten Mead, Saginaw Swan Valley junior

  • Sports: Bowling, competitive and sideline cheer
  • Non-sports activities: Student government (Class Secretary), SADD (Students Against Destructive Decisions), Drama, Business Professionals of America
  • Favorite classes: English and Drama
  • What's next: Mead is considering careers in orthodontics and pediatric orthopedics, with early college possibilities including Saginaw Valley State and the University of Michigan.
  • Shining sports moments: Being named "Team All-Star" by her Swan Valley cheer team; finishing undefeated in bowling, her bowling team's Regional title and rolling a 280 in a tournament.
  • Pump-up jams: For bowling, "Slow and Low" by the Beastie Boys, because it totally applies (as dorky and random as that is); for cheer, "Live While We're Young" by One Direction.
  • Must-see TV: "Criminal Minds"
  • Favorite Film: "The Sandlot"

PHOTO: Swan Valley's Kiersten Mead helps direct a session at Monday's MHSAA Sportsmanship Summit. Tune in to Second Half later this week for video detailing the Sportsmanship Summit experience.