Valued Leaders Talk Sportsmanship
April 12, 2013
By Rob Kaminski
MHSAA benchmarks editor
Anyone who has attended an MHSAA sporting event has undoubtedly heard the public address announcements touting sportsmanship.
Sportsmanship is one of many lessons taught through school sports. But are today’s student-athletes the willing pupils in the subject? Or are too many kids opting for elective courses in showmanship offered via YouTube and cable networks?
While many involved in high school athletics have noticed a decline in sportsmanship, it’s not too late to inject this valuable ingredient back into our games. But efforts need to begin at the local level, and the scholastic environment needs to supplant community venues where poor sportsmanship often flourishes.
Seventeen coaches from all over the state chipped in to a benchmarks town hall discussion on sportsmanship.
East Kentwood’s Dave Emeott: “I think it is easy to see that sportsmanship is at least diminished. I think sportsmanship starts in the home, but we cannot always depend on the household to teach these lessons. As we sit in the stands, we realize that if this is where they learn it, then we need to get to work. I think we need to teach parents what a good sport looks like, as well as students. It is apparent that students will be the kind of sports they are permitted to be. Most coaches want good sportsmanship, but struggle with the balance of teaching character and winning or losing.”
Middleville Thornapple-Kellogg’s Tamara Benjamin: “Sportsmanship could be endangered. If a parent is allowed to sit in the stands and berate coaches, officials, and other athletes, it’s difficult for our students to see that this behavior is wrong because it is being tolerated. My expectations for our girls’ behavior are made clear the first day of practice. I hold them accountable for themselves, and we go forward each day.”
Holland’s Don Kimble: “I believe that it starts at home; always looking for a reason for failure opens the door to unsportsmanlike behavior. On our team, sportsmanship is stressed within the team first; if you cannot be a sportsman to your teammates, then you cannot be to others.”
Grand Haven’s Kimberly Vincent: “We’re all about sportsmanship and work with students and parents to set expectations. There are too many people pointing fingers at other people about this subject, and I think coaches have to set the example.”
Battle Creek Pennfield’s Mike Roach: “Youth sports programs need to concentrate on sportsmanship and the fact that there are winners and losers in sports. By not keeping score, the kids do not learn how to win, nor do they learn how to handle losing. Keep score. Teach kids that it is not the end of the world to lose, but be gracious in winning and losing.”
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It could be true that much of the focus on poor sportsmanship is a result of just that: the spotlight on poor sportsmanship, rather than the good.
Thornapple-Kellogg’s Abby Kanitz: “I think that too much focus is put on the unsportsmanlike situations. There is much more good out there than bad; it just doesn't make for great stories. It does not take much more than one bad situation to ruin a game, competition or meet. I think sportsmanship comes from the coach. If your athletes know you have high expectations in this area, then their parents will know, too.”
Allegan’s Gary Ellis: “Sportsmanship is alive and well, though it is under attack. Students are exposed to so many examples of poor to horrendous sportsmanship on TV, that it seems to be the norm.”
Bloomfield Hills Andover’s David Zulkiewski: “I see positive sportsmanship every day with my athletes, and that’s because we focus on it and make it part of our daily practice and competition. Our team is much more than swimming or diving; it’s about excelling at life. So many of our kids will not compete in athletics after high school, so we try to give them skills they can use in the real world. Being a good sport is one of those skills.”
Grand Haven’s James Richardson: “Kids want and need structure, and will uphold the guidelines as long as they are clearly defined and enforced consistently. As coaches we need to build relationships with the kids and teach them proper behavior, and serve as models for them.”
Holt’s Mike Van Antwerp: “Sportsmanship is still around. If kids respect their opponents as individuals, they are good sports. Most of them would get along well if they were on the same team, so it’s important they realize that. The kids they play against are no different from them. If they respect the game, respecting their opponent follows.”
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To be sure, no coach worth his or her clipboard sets out to allow poor sportsmanship. But emphasizing proper conduct early and often should be as essential as conducting tryouts.
Munising’s Cathy Mutter: “Sportsmanship is an important part of high school sports and life in general. I always tell my athletes, ‘You do not deserve; you earn. You have to work hard, be positive and be fair.’ I teach them to strive to be the best they can be on the team, in the classroom, at the jobs they have, and at home in their family life. Many programs struggle due to the fact they do not work together as a unit. You are only as strong as your weakest link.”
Rockford’s Ed Van Portfliet: “The O-K Conference and the member schools have done a great job of promoting sportsmanship, and I think it’s alive and well in our area. We teach our players it’s important to play hard, but they also have to respect their opponent and the game. We don’t tolerate actions or play from our players that would be considered disrespectful or detrimental to the game.”
Warren Regina’s Diane Laffey: “We always talk sportsmanship at our team meetings, our parent meetings and our coaches meetings. I guess it is an endangered species in some areas – but I do not feel it has gotten anywhere near that point at our school. I make every effort to make sure that our athletes, teams, coaches and parents keep sportsmanship at the top of our list.”
Allegan’s Ellis: “Leagues have a responsibility to educate their students about proper behavior at high school athletic events and how to treat their opponents. Schools need to develop leaders – on teams and in the stands – who set the tone at contests. The biggest trophy given out at our year-end awards night is the sportsmanship trophy.”
Marshall’s Sue Hutchings: “Sportsmanship starts with the coaching staff respecting the players and hammering the philosophy home. If one of our players exhibits bad sportsmanship, they are taken out of the competition and made to apologize. And trust me, it has happened. Our conference coaches are all pretty tight and have worked together for a number of years. We all share the same philosophy and have very, very little trouble with bad sportsmanship.”
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Sometimes, proper sportsmanship is simply woven into the fabric of a given sport.
Grand Rapids Forest Hills Northern/Forest Hills Eastern’s Brian Telzerow: “Sportsmanship in golf is the leader in integrity. There is no other sport that is as self-policing as is golf. The young men and women must play with honor and integrity, calling penalties on themselves with no referees present. There is no entitlement here. After we play, players shake hands with all other competitors in their groups. We also make it a practice to say thanks to the host team and to the host course personnel. This is intentional to instill gratitude for the privilege of playing this sport.”
Portland’s Jim Niebling: “Sportsmanship may very well be endangered, but not in high school tennis and certainly not on our teams in Portland. Just this season my No. 1 singles player was playing his arch rival in the league championship match. They had gone back and forth for years and both knew the implication of winning the match for the upcoming Regional and Final tournaments where they were surely going to have to play again. The loser would be seeded lower and would have decidedly more difficult draws. But when the other player, up a set, began to cramp in the second set, looking like he may not be able to finish the match, my player walked to his cooler, pulled out a Gatorade and handed it to his opponent.
“My player ended up losing that match, and he knew that was a possibility when he handed his opponent that Gatorade. If that’s not sportsmanship, I don’t know what is.”
Grand Haven’s Richardson: “Sportsmanship is promoted on our team because in wrestling we are only in charge of ourselves and our actions. It’s a sport that holds individuals accountable. It is difficult in our sport to place blame on others.”
Grand Rapids Kenowa Hills/Grandville’s Brenda McDonald: “I always have my girls practice good sportsmanship. They always thank the home team or say, ‘Good job,’ to the opposing team. Many of the girls know the girls on other teams from previous gymnastics classes, so they enjoy seeing them again.”
High School Coaches Survey Identifies Parental Concerns
More than 3,000 high school coaches and athletic directors responded to a nationwide survey conducted by Growing Great Relationships (GGR) in cooperation with the National High School Coaches Association (NHSCA). The purpose of the survey was to understand what coaches and athletic directors see as their greatest needs concerning coach-parent and coach-athlete communication and relationships. GGR and NHSCA will use the results to design training and programs that address the identified needs.
The first section of the survey addressed issues surrounding parents of athletes. The first question asked coaches about their greatest concerns dealing with parents. More than 50 percent indicated over-involved parents as their No. 1 concern.
The second question asked coaches what they think parents are most concerned about. Overwhelmingly, nearly 80 percent reported the child’s amount of playing time as their perception of a parent’s biggest issue.
The next question asked coaches who are the most difficult parents. Athlete “wanna bes” were identified by 55 percent of the respondents.
Coaches then were asked what parents should do to support them. More than 70 percent indicated keeping them informed of personal difficulties their child was having at home. This was followed by 63 percent asking parents not to use social media regarding the team, or to gossip about the team or the coach’s expertise. Athletic directors’ responses were similar but with different percentages. Nearly 73 percent ranked not using social media or gossip about the team as the most important.
The second section of the survey asked coaches about their greatest concerns regarding relationships with their athletes. The first question asked coaches about the challenges they face communicating with student-athletes. Nearly 58 percent indicated an athlete receiving contradictory advice from parents and other coaches/advisers. This was followed closely with 55 percent stating an athlete’s inflated belief about his or her ability. Athletic director responses were similar but with somewhat different percentages. The greatest response, 70 percent, was the athlete receiving contradictory advice.
The second question asked the coaches for other factors interfering with their relationships with their student-athletes. The factor indicated by 58 percent of coaches was an athlete over-burdened with competing school demands (clubs, academics). For this particular question, the response from the athletic directors closely matched the coaches.
Athletic directors were asked that in their role what are their greatest concerns dealing with parents and athletes. The most frequent answer by 76 percent of athletic directors was parents bypassing coaches to complain directly to them.
In addition, nearly 500 coaches and athletic directors wrote in additional concerns that they have in their ability to communicate and work with athletes and their parents.
– Richard & Jane: Relationship Coaching
Wise Words for Coaches New (and Old)
September 13, 2013
By Geoff Kimmerly
Second Half editor
Every fall brings a new beginning for those who live by the high school calendar. And among those experiencing a new start are first-year high school coaches eager to begin their careers in educational athletics.
But what knowledge do they bring into their first coaching jobs? Most if not all played at the high school level, and many played at the college level as well. Some have served as assistants or coached youth teams. But high school coaching comes with its own set of challenges requiring an advanced set of skills – skills that are passed on annually as part of the Michigan High School Athletic Association’s Coaches Advancement Program.
To assist in giving some of our new coaches a running start, we tapped into the knowledge of three of our Coaches Advancement Program instructors for advice they give those just starting out:
Jean LaClair began this fall 12th in MHSAA volleyball history with 861 wins since becoming a varsity head coach in 1987. She’s coached at Midland Dow, Pinconning and currently Bronson, where she’s also the athletic director and an assistant principal. She’s also served as an MHSAA official and contributed to the Women in Sports Leadership porgram.
Ken Semelsberger is a recent inductee into the Michigan High School Football Coaches Hall of Fame and spent 33 years at Port Huron High School as a coach and athletic administrator. He also coached football at Detroit Servite and has led teams in basketball, softball and baseball. Semelsberger returned to the Port Huron sideline four seasons ago as the varsity’s line coach.
Penny Allen-Cook currently is an athletic consultant and in her fourth season coaching the Freeland varsity volleyball team. She also coached volleyball at Alma College, and is a former assistant commissioner of the Great Lakes Intercollegiate Athletic Conference. She served as an assistant athletic director at Alma College and director of compliance at Saginaw Valley State University.
All were asked the following questions during separate interviews. But not surprisingly, some of their answers were similar – especially those that emphasized dealing with parental pressures and why they as coaches continue to return to the sideline every year.
Many of their answers also segued well into each other, so we’ve blended them for one longer conversation filled with wisdom beneficial to new and veteran coaches alike.
What do you tell those who are interested in becoming high school coaches?
Semelsberger: “Basically, it’s one of the most fulfilling things you’ll ever do. And it’s also one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. I try to explain that it’s not just about going to practice and coaching kids today. That’s the easy part. It’s also preparing for practice, (gaining) the knowledge of what to do in certain situations from the game itself all the way to training procedures, injury procedures and liability issues. That’s all part of the coaching realm.”
LaClair: “My biggest concern with young coaches is them getting driven out by parents really early. You’ve got to have thick skin, and you’ve got to have great relationships with parents. You can’t be afraid to talk to parents.”
Allen-Cook: “Certainly to coach is an extremely rewarding thing to do. But you can’t get into it for the money. You get into it for the things that last for a lifetime. My first year I started coaching was back in 1986, and I’ve kept in touch with those kids. (Coaching) can’t be for money or wins and losses, but the differences you make in lives.”
Semelsberger: “Probably not until after the first year do you realize all that’s entailed in coaching. (Coaches) say, ‘Once I really got into and do it, after the first time, it was a lot more than I thought.’ They say, 'What can you tell me to help me?'”
How do you encourage coaches who have become frustrated with the profession?
Allen-Cook: “It’s easier to get discouraged nowadays more than it used to be, and a common thing that discourages is the parent involvement is at a different level than it ever was 20 years ago. The key is to remember, and it’s hard for young coaches who aren't parents, but you tell them to step back and imagine what it feels like if you were the parent.”
LaClair: “I do try to get all young coaches a mentor, someone to talk with. We all get frustrated; we all have to vent, and we need the right person to talk it through with and come up with alternative ways (of dealing with situations).”
Semelsberger: “The one thing I tell them is to remember that what’s most important out there is how they influence athletes. I want to see them doing positive things with our athletes, stressing grades and sportsmanship. I hired a hockey coach once, and I told him to clean up the program. I don’t care if you win; I want our grades to be good, community involvement, and the wins and losses will come. If you stay with it, hang in there, it will come.”
Allen-Cook: “If they approach things the right way, in as few years as four or five, if they stick it out, they’ll learn the positives outweigh the negatives. I’m always encouraging them to stick it out a few more years until they can figure out their true philosophy, why they want to coach.”
What specific situations do you tell new coaches to prepare for, and how?
LaClair: “For me as a coach, the parent/athlete meeting is mandatory. If a parent comes to me with a question during the year, I say, ‘Do you remember the parent/athlete meeting? We discussed that.’ It sets the tone and tells parents how proactive you are as a person, how organized and prepared you are.”
Semelsberger: “When you’re not coaching, when you’re sitting in the stands, the parents are friendly. But once you’re on the sideline, now you’re the coach, and that changes the dynamic of the relationship dramatically. I explain to (coaches) that my philosophy is I’m dealing with parents’ most precious item. You want to treat each one of those children like you’d want your kids to be treated. You don’t have to play everyone all the time, but treat (athletes) with respect, talk to them and let them know what’s going on, why a kid isn't playing, so the kid has an idea what’s going on.”
Allen-Cook: “One of the best defenses is to be a student of whatever the game is they’re coaching so they can be seen as an expert all the time. Show it by going to clinics, reading up on things, and coming to practice with a true plan of what you’re doing every day. Parents are less likely to question if you know what you’re doing and they can see you’re a true student of the game and come every day prepared.”
LaClair: “Time management is critical. Especially for me, you need to have good practice plans, well thought out in advance so kids aren't standing around at all.”
Semelsberger: “Sometimes I tell (coaches) about reporters if the sport has a lot of reporters; always be positive, don’t be negative. ... (Also) I make sure they understand and follow the rules. Academics are the most important thing, so make sure every kid is eligible. And I tell them the most important people are secretaries and custodians. Get them on your side, and they’ll do anything for you.”
What advice do you offer coaches who also are balancing teaching or other jobs at the school?
LaClair: “Just over half of my (teachers are coaches), and that’s great. You can build a different type of relationship.”
Semelsberger: “Their number one job is being a teacher, and that’s always been the number one job. They can’t let the fact they coach take away from that. Classes are number one, and coaching comes after that.”
LaClair: “You have to think days and weeks ahead. I tell coaches who are also teachers that the weekends and a lot of Sundays are going to be for making lesson plans for the week, practice plans for the week. Then all they have to do is tweak them. Have a good plan and all you have to do is tweak, and you don’t have to do that for two hours on a Thursday night.”
Allen-Cook: “It’s a neat experience to be able to teach in other realms (like athletics). Unfortunately there are less and less teacher coaches.”
What keeps you coming back to coaching?
LaClair: “The kids. A lot of people think social media is an evil beast, and it can be. But what I love about it is I've been coaching a long time and I can keep up with former athletes all over the country, see baby pictures, things I wouldn't be able to do without social media.”
Allen-Cook: “I think once you’re a coach, you’re always a coach. It’s tough to get out of your blood. I enjoy the interaction with the young people. I’m an independent contractor now (Allen-Cook also has taught) so I have little interaction with student athletes anymore. It feels rewarding that in some way I’m having a positive impact.”
Semelsberger: “The kids, the athletes, just to watch them develop as human beings. We work hard with on our athletes being leaders in the (school) building; the first day of school our senior and junior football players were helping out the freshmen. If a kid was scared or something, trying to get where they needed to go, we had jerseys on and they knew if they saw a kid with a jersey on they could ask for help. To see those kids take on those roles ... I love watching the ninth graders come in as scared little kids and watch them leave as confident seniors going on to college or work or whatever they’ll do.”
PHOTOS: (Top) Penny Allen-Cook (second from left, back row) and her Freeland volleyball team celebrate last season's Class B District championship. (Click to see more from High School Sports Scene.) (Below) Bronson volleyball coach Jean LaClair speaks with some her players during one of her more than 1,000 games as a varsity head coach. (Photo courtesy of the Sturgis Journal.)