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Parent Problem

October 29, 2013

For years when I have paused in presentations to ask coaches and school administrators to identify the biggest problems we have in school sports, two problems are far most frequently mentioned:

  • Too little money; and
  • Too many misdirected parents.

Other problems are cited; but far and away, the most frequently mentioned problems are under-funding of programs and over-involvement of parents.

In many aspects of the lives of youth, there is too little parent involvement and direction; but such is not the case in most places when it comes to sports. “Helicopter parents” not only hover, they also seek to rescue their children from the very situations – adversity – that sports uses to teach life lessons.

Parents have no role in decisions regarding playing time and game plans. Should parents ever believe that their child has been put at risk in a sports program, there are prompt and appropriate ways to address those situations, directly and with discretion, not gossip and guile.

And the job description of school administrators today must include the staunch defense of the jobs our committed coaches are doing.

Well-Roundedness

January 5, 2018

Editor's Note: This blog originally was posted November 22, 2013, and the topic rings true today.


As high school seniors are scrambling to complete their college applications, I’ve reflected on how what is valued is changing.

I was accepted to both of the Ivy League schools to which I applied. This was at a time when evidence of being well-balanced, middle class and Midwestern were seen as strengths on an application. I don’t think I would be admitted to those institutions on the basis of those strengths today.

It appears that our so-called “elite” institutions are now looking for the outlier:

  • Not participation in three different sports, each in its own season; but participation in one sport, year-around; and the more non-traditional the sport, the better.

  • Not committed involvement in activities of the local school; but involvement away from school; maybe the invention of a product or electronic program or the founding of some nonprofit organization that improves the human condition of people in other places.

When we list all the factors that entice high school students to specialize in a single sport, we need to include that society today has made “well-roundedness” less worthy of praise than being “one-of-a-kind,” and that’s diminishing the value of being a team member unless one is the star on that team.

It is highly doubtful that either high schools or colleges are strengthened by these trends. More importantly, it is equally doubtful that single-focus childhood is the strongest way for young people to become good neighbors and community citizens.

What I continue to encourage for most students is that they sample the broad buffet of opportunities that a full-service school offers. To participate in both athletic and non-athletic activities. In both individual and team sports. To be a starter in one sport and a substitute in another. To participate in solo and ensemble. To be onstage and backstage. To taste winning and losing, and both in ample proportion.