Let Life Teach

December 7, 2012

Here’s a golden nugget from Ann Arbor’s Dr. Dan Saferstein’s little book, Win or Lose:  A Guide to Sports Parenting:

“Most of us have an easier time being math parents than we do being sports parents.  We don’t stand over our children as they’re doing their homework, hollering at them to round to the highest decimal or carry their zero.  We trust that they’ll be able to figure things out on their own, and if they can’t, they’ll get the help they need from their teachers or by asking us.

“What a lot of sports parents seem to forget is that young athletes also need the same space to figure things out on their own.  They need to learn how to think and make decisions during game situations, which isn’t easy to do when your parent (or someone else’s parent) is shouting out directions.

“The reality is that if your child could score a goal or stop a defender, he would.  In most cases, telling your child to move faster to the ball is like telling him to be taller.  Effort isn’t the only critical factor in sports, or in math.  Some children will never be high-level athletes no matter how hard they try, which is by no means a tragedy.  The world doesn’t necessarily need more gymnastics, softball or soccer stars.  It needs more young people who are willing to try and make our world a better place.”

Go to dansaferstein.com for more good stuff from the good doctor.

The Meaning of Success

December 8, 2015

All of the MHSAA’s fall season tournaments have ended. A small sliver of our hundreds of member school teams are clutching championship trophies.

Thankfully, those few trophies do not define success.

Some teams won their first ever MHSAA Regional title this fall, and a few more won their first MHSAA District championship ... and those go down in their local lore as the most successful teams in those schools’ histories. Deservedly so.

But even those situations do not define success adequately.

Some teams had their first winning record in many years. Some teams didn’t accomplish that goal but won twice as many games as the year before; and they rightfully claimed their seasons a success.

Some teams lost almost every game but kept pulling together without back-biting or complaining. And that too is success.

I once told a team of T-ballers I was coaching that they had a perfect record: six wins and six losses. Six times they had to deal with victories; six times they had to deal with losses. That’s also a good definition of success.

And finally ... singer/songwriter Sam Baker has written this lyric about his aspirations to play professional ice hockey: “I failed well; and that made all the difference.”