Criticism

October 18, 2011

The phrase “throw in the towel” comes from the sport of boxing.  It recalls a manager throwing a towel into the ring to stop a bout in which his boxer is getting badly beaten.

Over the years I watched a lot of administrators of schools and school sports throw in the towel as they’ve watched their ideas and ideals get bruised and battered, and as they suffered constant and frequently unfair criticism.

Criticism is a fickle thing.  It can be motivating or maddening.  To some people criticism is one or the other; to other people criticism sometimes has a positive effect, sometimes the opposite.

Criticism from a well-informed source who has tried to see the matter from multiple perspectives and who delivers the opinion privately will almost always have two positive effects.  First, it will influence future thought processes and decisions.  Second, it will establish a closer relationship – even a good friendship – between the parties.

It is criticism based on bad information or from a biased viewpoint delivered by gossip or in group settings that is least productive to the cause and most poisonous to the community.

But even bad news badly delivered can be motivating.  While sometimes it may give rise to brief thoughts of “why bother?”, it more often motivates me to work harder, to serve better, to think wider and deeper, and to give more.  This reaction is a result of many life experiences, including school and college sports participation.

Those of us who played competitive athletics were subject to much criticism throughout our playing careers.  Sometimes it was unfair, and we learned to rise above it.  But usually the criticism was from a coach who knew his or her stuff, who thought we could do better, and who was giving us the information to become better.  While some people merely survive criticism, competitive athletics can teach us how to thrive on it.

Anniversary Celebration

May 9, 2017

Mixing work and family obligations is not recommended for marital bliss; and I’ve done pretty well over the years at not taking my work home to the extent that my family felt like the second team. However, once a year I insist that my wife comes to work with me. That was last Saturday night.

The Michigan High School Athletic Association’s Officials Awards & Alumni Banquet occurs each May, just about the time I should be considering a nice night out for my wife as we celebrate our wedding anniversary and Mother’s Day. So, one might think I am asking for trouble by making this event our big night out.

Yet it works. For if there is one thing the Officials Banquet demonstrates, it’s the power of partners and family.

Time after time last Saturday evening, officials thanked spouses for their support. For keeping late dinners hot and uniforms clean, of course; but also for savoring the stories that sports officials have so many of and share so vividly.

Officials know what it means to have a partner, and to have his or her back in good times and bad.

Officials are a part of a big family of people with affinity for one another that often grows into deep and abiding, lifelong affection.

It wasn’t just longevity that was applauded last Saturday; partners and extended families were honored as well. Not a bad way to celebrate a 45th wedding anniversary.