'I Play Every Game for Him'

September 18, 2013

By Geoff Kimmerly
Second Half editor

EAST LANSING – A Parma Western shot streaked by Josh Flamme’s reach Tuesday night, seemingly on its way to becoming one of few to make it past him and into the net this season.

But – as if shoved off course – the ball caromed off a post, keeping another shutout intact.

The Mason senior remembers similar scenarios over the last few years. Dives with no chance of reaching the ball – until he feels it smash into his hands. Stops he never could have made without an extra push.

He doesn’t always believe his luck. But he has an explanation.  

Walt Flamme died four years ago this spring, four months before the first games of Josh’s high school career. But he goes with Josh every time the all-state keeper heads into the goal box, a conversation partner when the ball is on the other side of the field and a source of strength when an opponent is bearing down on the Bulldogs’ net.

“I’m always just like, ‘Come on man. If you’re going to help me out, you should do it now,’” Flamme said.

“He never saw me play in high school. But I play every game for him, and he has the best seat in the house. He’s helped me out any way he can.”

Flamme is in his third season starting for Mason, ranked No. 3 in Division 2 this week. He’s the latest of a string of all-state keepers who have anchored the team’s defense over the last 12 seasons, and he’s going to graduate as one of the most accomplished. His 41 career shutouts rank eighth in MHSAA history – nine off tying the record – and he’s given up only three goals this season in leading the Bulldogs to a 10-0-1 start. He’s also the kicker on Mason’s undefeated football team. 

He’ll be in goal Tuesday when the Bulldogs face Eaton Rapids in their second annual Compete for a Cause game, a fundraiser for the Children’s Center at Lansing’s Sparrow Hospital with donations to be used by families with children receiving cancer treatment.

Mason will wear yellow, symbolizing pediatric cancer. Eaton Rapids will wear blue for prostate cancer, an illness Greyhounds coach Matt Boersma’s dad Jeff has battled. And Flamme will wear orange to symbolize his father’s fight against leukemia, which Josh remembers during his team’s moment of silence before every game and as he points to the heavens once he takes his spot at the back line.

He’s been a keeper since third grade and a perfect fit. He’s Mason's best athlete, and at 6 feet tall can get to shots that might fly over others. He’s got the best work ethic Mason coach Nick Binder and assistant Kevin Gunns have witnessed during their seven seasons running the program, and as a communicator he’s a coach’s dream. “Of our four captains, he’s by far the most vocal,” Gunns said, “and the one the younger kids look up to.”

After turning 18 over the weekend, Flamme also is an adult who perhaps was forced by circumstance to grow up faster than he would’ve liked. Binder believes Flamme shows an elite level of dedication when compared to other high school athletes, and with that an elite level of maturity as well.

 “I don’t want to be just bragging about him. But he’s my hero,” said Tracy Flamme, Josh’s mother. “After his dad died and everything, he could’ve become ... not a nice person. But he didn’t. It almost made him stronger, I think.

“His dad would be very proud of him. I’m so proud of him, I could just bust.”

Starting from scratch

Walt Flamme didn’t know a thing about soccer when his son chose that sport over karate as a kindergartner. Walt was a football player, the back-up quarterback and kicker at Okemos during his high school days.  

But he became Josh’s main practice partner, pushing the extension pole of a vacuum into the ground a few feet from the flag pole in their back yard to create a makeshift goal and then firing shots at his son. Walt also was the dad who stayed to watch every practice, and Josh would wake up late at night to find him looking up drills on the computer.

“He didn’t know what the heck was going on, but he learned,” Josh said. “He did his work and tried to help me out as much as he could.”

By the end of middle school, Flamme was an experienced club player and part of an elite team out of Detroit. The path was paved for him to become Mason’s next great keeper.

Valuable mentors have helped him reach that goal. Recently graduated Michigan State keeper Jeremy Clark has been a go-to source for advice and an extra push when needed. Two former high school standouts, Mason and Olivet’s College’s Ethan Felsing and Caro’s Brandon Wheeler, are volunteer keeper coaches with the Bulldogs this season.

But the keeper Flamme looks up to most is former Mason standout Steve Clark, a 2004 graduate who went on to star at Oakland University and currently plays in the top division of Norway’s professional league, Tippeligaen.

Clark made it home for a week this summer, and Flamme worked his way into an hour-long training session with his hero. It was during that brief workout that Flamme picked up on Clark’s attention to detail – something that’s been mostly good but also a little bit frustrating.

Flamme has learned to pay attention to the little things that will help take his game up another level. But he also struggles with dwelling on the smallest of details, which can get in the way of his in-game focus while there are other tasks at hand.

“Keepers, we’re all head cases. We’re all crazy psychos, diving headfirst into balls,” Flamme said. “But at the same time, you’ve gotta be able to forget things.

“I’m just trying to forget the bad things.”

Memories worth saving

Josh’s memories of his dad – like the two kicking the ball around the yard – remain vivid.

Walt was diagnosed during the fall of Josh’s eighth-grade year, but his son didn’t grasp as first the severity of the situation. Not until about three months later, during mid-winter, did Josh begin to understand.

“You could be off with friends, be smiling and laughing, having a good time. But on the inside, you never stop thinking about it,” Flamme said. “On the outside, you’re acting like you’re having fun. Inside it’s just like, ‘This sucks.’ That was always the toughest part – always having in the back of your mind that your parent is just slowly dying.”

Walt Flamme died on April 11, 2010. Still, his dad’s death didn’t hit Josh until a couple days after, when he walked into his father’s room and Walt no longer was there.

The two were inseparable working the family’s 45-acre farm. The Flammes grew soybeans and wheat and had four horses, and Walt knew how to do just about anything needed to keep the gears turning. “He’d do things to his truck I didn’t know there were parts for,” Josh said. “Just by watching, I kinda picked up on stuff. I knew how to do everything.”

Tracy Flamme said they shared the same mellow personality, with Josh now the one who will remind his mom to not get worked up unnecessarily. That “crazy” Josh believes is a key to a keeper’s success? He credits his dad for giving him a dose.

When Walt died, Flamme became familiar with the advice of not remembering the bad times. He had no problems there. Aside from a few spilled glasses of juice, he couldn’t remember his dad yelling at him. “We didn’t have bad times. I couldn’t dream of a better dad,” Flamme said. “I would just think about the positives and just know he’s not going to want me, because he’s gone, to stop working hard in soccer, stop working in school. I want to do what he would want me to do.”

Competing for a Cause

Compete for a Cause began as the brainchild of Gunns, who like Binder is a former Mason soccer player and whose wife, Sheri, has undergone surgeries over the last decade because of thyroid cancer.

Sheri Gunns teaches sixth grade in Okemos, and one of her students two years ago was Paige Duren. Michigan State football fans may be familiar with Duren – she was diagnosed with a brain tumor in 2011 and became an inspirational member of the Spartans’ football family.

Mason’s players also had an unfortunate tie to cancer in classmate Spencer Sowles, a football player who attended last fall’s Compete for a Cause game but died March 18.

Those connections plus that to Walt Flamme made picking a cause for the benefit game easy. 

When he and Binder told the team about the event last fall, Flamme thought “this is awesome.” That first game raised $1,000, and with September national pediatric cancer awareness month, Kevin Gunns hopes next week’s match can build on that success.

“Just seeing other families affected by (cancer), I understand what’s going on with them. It’s just cool to help them out in any possible way,” Flamme said. “When my dad was going through it, people would bring over food and stuff like that. For a split second there you feel normal. It’s not a normal situation. Any time we can help families, if we can give them help, have them feel normal for a split second, that’s really cool.”

Back in stride

Flamme has had plenty of mentors off the field as well. Friends’ dads have been there for him, and Binder and Gunns have guided him through his college recruiting questions.

His friends got him back on his feet quickly and have kept him rolling through good times and struggles.

“We’ll have lengthy talks about it every now and then. I think that’s good for us to do,” said sophomore John Kingman, one of Mason’s starting defenders. “It gets it off his mind, helps clear his mind a little bit. I think it brings him to a peaceful time.”

Flamme has committed to play his college soccer at University of Detroit Mercy, and he’s excited about beginning the school’s five-year cyber security program. He hopes to work for the government when college and soccer are done.

“After my husband died, I wanted something good to happen to Josh,” Tracy Flamme said. “And it did.”

Josh has been in net for 55 varsity wins and helped the Bulldogs to Regional Finals each of the last two seasons. There’s nothing he’d like more than to bring home his team’s first MHSAA title since 1997.

If that happens, Flamme will know one of the reasons why.

“I’d have to thank (my dad) for weeks,” Flamme said. “We’ve definitely got the talent. But you’ve gotta be lucky sometimes.

“If he throws a couple balls our way ...”

PHOTOS: (Top) Mason goalkeeper Josh Flamme prepares for an Okemos free kick during the team's 0-0 tie this season. (Middle top) Flamme launches a kick downfield against the Chieftains. (Middle bottom) Flamme also is the placekicker for Mason's football team. (Bottom) At 6-feet tall, Flamme excels at making saves at the top of the goal. (Photos courtesy of Alan Holben.)


Brother Continues to 'Play for Paige'

September 11, 2014

By Geoff Kimmerly
Second Half editor

Okemos' Josh Duren was 11 when his sister was diagnosed with cancer. Still, he understood most of what was happening and what it could mean.

At first, of course, he was sad. But it didn’t take long for Josh to realize that Paige, 8 at the time, would find a way to survive.

“There wasn’t a lot I could do,” said Josh, now a high school junior. “I tried to talk to her more, keep her close, let her know I loved her.”

Paige surely will know again Saturday when Josh wears her name on his back in one of the Chieftains’ biggest soccer games of the season.

Duren will suit up for Okemos’ boys soccer team against rival Mason for the third annual “Compete for a Cause” game Saturday night. All proceeds from the event – which begins with the junior varsity game at 5:30 and is hosted by Mason – will be donated to the CureSearch for Children’s Cancer and the Michigan State University Pediatric Oncology Clinic to benefit children receiving cancer treatment.

Paige – now a high school freshman – continues to thrive two years after completing treatment for multiple brain tumors that included multiple surgeries in addition to radiation treatments, blood transfusions and chemotherapy.   

Players for Saturday’s Okemos/Mason soccer games will wear jerseys adorned with names of those who have battled cancer. September is national pediatric cancer awareness month, and the first Compete for a Cause game was played in 2012.

“It’s really cool that I get to go out and play something that I love while spreading awareness for the need for more support, a cure for all cancer, especially pediatric,” Josh said. “I’m really excited to be able to go out and play for my sister.”

Those who follow MSU sports are likely familiar with Duren, who during her treatments formed close relationships with the Spartans football and men’s basketball teams, who in turn have worn purple “Play for Paige” bracelets in her honor.

Saturday’s event was the brainchild of Mason assistant coach Kevin Gunns, whose wife Sheri is a teacher at Okemos and taught Paige, and has undergone surgeries over the last decade because of thyroid cancer. This fall, Okemos' boys soccer team became a partner for the game, with Pam Duren – Paige and Josh’s mother – taking a large role in organization and fundraising.  

Okemos is ranked No. 1 in Division 1 this week, and Mason is No. 7 in Division 2. Roughly 800 fans attended last year’s “Compete” game between Mason and Eaton Rapids, and Kevin Gunns said more than 1,000 are expected Saturday. The game raised $1,000 the first year and nearly twice that amount in 2013 – but is on track to raise $10,000 this time.

It also will give the communities and their players opportunities to remember and recognize those who have battled the disease.

Josh may not have been able to help much as his sister suffered through her sickness. But he certainly learned from watching her fight.

Perspective gained

Okemos coach Brian Guggemos taught the Durens’ oldest son Noah as a sixth grader, Josh as a seventh grader and Paige two years ago as a seventh grader as well.

When Josh was in Guggemos’ class, Paige was in the latter half of her treatment. Guggemos knew the family was under a tremendous amount of stress. But Josh never showed it.

“Josh has always been a really hard worker in the classroom and on the soccer field. He did his work and was compassionate (toward) others,” Guggemos said. “Josh is one of those kids that other kids like to be around due to his demeanor. I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone say a bad word about him.”

Pam Duren said her family was fortunate Paige was diagnosed when her sons were middle school age. The Durens befriended the family of Jaxon Davis, who underwent treatment at the same time as Paige and also have a daughter who was 2 years old at the time. When the Davis family returned home after treatment, Pam said, they’d been gone from the house so long that the little sister didn’t know things like where to find the bathrooms. (Teammate Anders Staky, a close friend of the Durens, will wear Saturday a jersey for Jaxon, who died in November, 2012, at only 5 years old.)

To Josh and Noah’s credit, both continued to excel while providing their sister with support.

Noah is a freshman at Miami University (Ohio) on academic scholarship. Josh carries a 3.8 grade-point average.

“It was very difficult when she was in treatment. It was very difficult for me as a parent knowing they were kinda set aside,” Pam Duren said. “You just don’t have time, and they both responded by trying to do things perfectly all the time. And that made me sad in a way because … it’s almost like they missed a piece of their childhoods. But they really stepped up in every way Mom and Dad hoped.”

Josh clearly is a talented soccer player starting at midfield for arguably the top team in the state.

In his first season on varsity, he’s also brought life experience few others his age have acquired.

Duren admitted watching his sister’s fight made him grow up a little faster in some ways. But it also taught him correct priorities.

Many middle schoolers might consider friends most important at that point of growing up, with family and school sprinkled in. But family, faith, health and school became Duren’s priorities. 

And he gained further appreciation for his sister's will. 

“I watched her go through what she did, watched her battle, and it taught me a lot of things,” he said. “I learned how tough she is.”

Pitch perfect

Sports are a big deal in the Duren home. Although Noah didn’t play soccer, it’s a favorite of both Josh and Paige, who also played eighth-grade basketball last season at Kinawa Middle School.

Paige also plays midfield, and well, Josh said. If either is in the backyard working on skills, the other usually comes outside to help. He’s seen her talent close up.

And Josh has noticed her talent beginning to shine through again. “She still has the mind for soccer,” he said. “It’s just her body is trying to get back into shape so she can compete.”

It was both unexpected and amazing, the support his family received from MSU athletes, coaches and administrators – and Josh said that support clearly helped his sister get through her treatments.

Saturday he, his teammates and their opponents will have an opportunity to give as well as learn a little more some of the lessons that Paige’s ordeal brought close to Josh’s heart.

“It definitely was life-changing,” Duren said. “(I’ve learned) to never take anything for granted. It made me learn what’s really important in life, and what’s not important.”

For more on Saturday's event, click for "Play for Paige" on Facebook. 

PHOTOS: (Top) Josh Duren is a junior midfielder for the No. 1-ranked Chieftains. (Middle) Okemos and Mason players will wear special jerseys Saturday that include the names of those they are honoring. (Below) Josh, Paige and Noah Duren pose in front of the Hollywood sign during the family trip to the Rose Bowl last winter. (Photos courtesy of Duren family.)