Parents Master Art of Schedule Juggling

By Pam Shebest
Special for MHSAA.com

October 18, 2016

If it’s Tuesday, it must be volleyball — or is it soccer or maybe swimming?

Time to check the calendar, the phone app or the white board.

To keep up with two or more students involved in different sports in the same season, families have devised their own ways for keeping track of schedules.

The Carpenters, who have sons Matthew and Alex at Kalamazoo Hackett Catholic Prep, use several calendars, including a master schedule in the kitchen.

The Perkins, whose daughters Lauren and Audrey attend Mattawan High School, rely mostly on the phone app Cozi to keep schedules straight.

For the parents, it’s a question of logistics and juggling, which sometimes takes a lot of creativity.

“We have electronic calendars and paper calendars to look at every morning,” dad Tim Carpenter said. “We talk about who’s going where and who’s going to do what at the start of each day to figure it out.

“I keep a sports calendar to share with all the family so they can see the different things going on. If we are ever home at night without a game, it’s a strange feeling.”

Besides the composite kitchen calendar, “We also have our iPhone calendar so we both can see one another’s calendar at the same time,” mom Julie Carpenter said.

“It’s pretty much Monday through Saturday, some game or practice. Sunday it’s Mass, groceries and laundry.”

The Perkins use a phone organizer app called Cozi.

“We try to get all the schedules in there so everybody knows where everybody else is,” mom Valerie Perkins said. “I usually have a white board on the kitchen counter that I update weekly, and it kind of tracks who’s got what when. 

“The girls’ meets are on opposite days. Like Audrey will have something on Monday, Wednesday and Lauren has Tuesday and Thursday. Occasionally they both have Saturdays. Then we divide and conquer, for sure.”

With five children, the Carpenters try to split time evenly between all the activities.

Matthew, a senior, is Hackett’s soccer goalkeeper and Alex, a sophomore, plays junior varsity football. Oldest son, Josh, a sophomore at Michigan Tech, plays broom ball – and while his parents don’t travel to watch him play, the games are webcast during the winter.

The activities won’t end soon. Bennett, a sixth grader and Bethany, a third grader, both at St. Augustine in Kalamazoo, also are involved in sports.

The Carpenters try to attend all of their children’s games together, but sometimes that is not possible. 

In that case, “We usually base it on who’s closer,” Tim Carpenter said. “If there’s one game south near where I work in Portage (at MANN+HUMMEL), I’ll usually go to that.

“If Julie (who works at Borgess-ProMed Physician Pediatrics in Richland) has only seen one of Alex’s games and I’ve seen two, she’ll go to Alex’s. We try to keep it even.”

Both parents were introduced to new sports once their sons got involved.

“(Our sons) haven’t done tennis or golf,” Julie Carpenter said. “Soccer’s got more action and excitement; basketball is similar. Skiing was neat because it’s such a close-knit community. Cross country was fun because it was a very team environment.

“I had not seen cross country before, but when Josh started cross country it was really exciting because we thought ‘OK, how much can you get out of cross country as a spectator?’ It was pretty exciting for us just to run from spot to spot. They’re such a close-knit group of kids.”

Whether there are five children or two, as in the Perkins family, parents face the same dilemma: trying to juggle work, practices and events.

“We usually try to trade off so we get an even mix of seeing the girls,” said Valerie Perkins, who works at Bronson Urology in Kalamazoo. “Sometimes Rob’s schedule dictates that. Sometimes it’s who’s ever closest.”

Rob Perkins, who works at TRW in Mattawan, said sometimes there’s a glitch. 

“When they give us advance warning of what’s going on and it doesn’t change, then I can work around it,” he said. 

“The only time it gets frustrating is when something changes at the very last minute, or maybe it was always the same and the girls’ stories change at the last minute,” he added, laughing.

Neither parent was familiar with the sports their daughters chose.

“With dive, Lauren started in eighth grade, so it evolved from a summer camp and she really enjoyed it,” Rob Perkins said. “We kind of fell into Kyle Oberhill, who’s the diving coach for (Kalamazoo College) and he manages the facilities for Western (Michigan University).

“He’s just really easy-going. (Lauren) excelled in it right away. As a freshman, she broke the school record. That kind of kept her motivated to keep going.”

Oberhill also had a workshop for parents to explain the intricacies of competitive diving, and that helped. Audrey, meanwhile, took on another sport new to her parents when she started playing volleyball in seventh grade.

“We didn’t know much about it, but the important thing to know about it is she enjoys it,” her dad said.

Rob Perkins said it would be much easier if volleyball and dive were not in the same season, but there is an upside.

“I would say, generally speaking, being in sports certainly builds their self-confidence, keeps them occupied.”

Their mother said she can see a positive influence of sports on their girls.

“I think sports have definitely improved them,” she said. “They’ve learned how to become leaders and work as a team, and I really appreciate that.

“I can see it develop in both of them over the years. Both are captains of their teams.”

And both sets of athletes said it’s important to see their parents at their games.

“It gives me more confidence,” Alex Carpenter said, “and makes me feel good that they want to see me play.” 

Pam Shebest served as a sportswriter at the Kalamazoo Gazette from 1985-2009 after 11 years part-time with the Gazette while teaching French and English at White Pigeon High School. She can be reached at [email protected] with story ideas for Calhoun, Kalamazoo and Van Buren counties.

PHOTOS: (Top) Mattawan parents Rob and Valerie Perkins cheer on their daughter Lauren during a recent swimming & diving meet. (Middle top) The Carpenters, clockwise from top left: Tim, Julie, Alex and Matthew. (Middle) The Perkins daughters, Lauren (left) and Audrey. (Middle below) Matthew, the Hackett soccer goalkeeper, looks to pass after gathering up a loose ball. (Below) Lauren Perkins dives during a meet. (Lauren Perkins head shot by Becky Anderson Photography, all other photos by Pam Shebest.) 

Is Your Teen Sleep-Deprived?

Many teens tend to stay up late. They’re on social media, watching television or YouTube, studying, or just tossing and turning for hours unable to fall asleep. Sleep can also be disrupted during stressful times during adolescence like exams or relationship problems.

More than two-thirds of high school students in the U.S. are failing to get sufficient sleep on school nights, according to a recent study from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

“The American Academy of Sleep Medicine (AASM) recommends that teens should sleep eight to 10 hours per night on a regular basis to promote optimal health,” explains Virginia Skiba, M.D., a sleep specialist with the Henry Ford Health System. Insufficient sleep can have a negative impact on their grades, athletic performance and mental and physical well-being, including depression and anxiety issues and drug and alcohol use.

It’s a safety issue, as well. Motor vehicle crashes are a leading cause of teen deaths in the U.S. In a recent survey, more than half of teens admitted to having driven when feeling too tired and nearly one in 10 teens reported having fallen asleep at the wheel.

A typical high school student is biologically wired to fall asleep around 11 p.m. Many high schools in Michigan start school as early as 7 a.m. – long before a teen’s natural wake time. The AASM advocates a later middle school and high school start time of 8:30 a.m. or later.

Tips for a Good Night’s Sleep

Teenagers’ sleep-wake cycles are biologically determined – they are programmed to stay up late at night and sleep later in the morning. Most teens are instinctively night owls. Falling asleep is often a challenge, but there are things teens can do that may help them get a good night’s sleep.

Here are some tips from Dr. Skiba, which apply not only to teens but are great advice for anyone who is struggling with feeling sleep deprived:

► First and foremost, make sleep a priority. In our busy society, too often making time for sleep is last on the list.

► Maintain a consistent bedtime and wake time that allows at least eight hours of nightly sleep, including on weekends and vacation.

► Keep the bedroom quiet and dark. Keep the TV, computer, phone and video game system out of the bedroom.

► Set a technology curfew; turn off all devices one hour before bedtime.

► Engage in quiet activities before bed, like reading, journaling or yoga, and establish a relaxing bedtime ritual.

Dr. Virginia Skiba is a sleep medicine expert who sees patients at Henry Ford Medical Centers in Grosse Pointe and Sterling Heights.

If your teen is struggling with sleep issues, talk to your pediatrician or family doctor to find out if he or she could benefit from a sleep evaluation. Call 1-800-HENRYFORD (436-7936) or visit henryford.com to learn more.

Visit henryford.com/sports or call (313) 972-4216.