Oxford Golfers Excel, Continue to Heal with 1st League Title, Finals Debut
By
Ray Hill
Michigan Interscholastic Golf Coaches Association
October 18, 2023
It was 49 degrees, cloudy, and drizzly Monday when five Oxford High School girls golf team members pulled into the parking lot at Metamora Golf and Country Club. They popped open the backs of their cars and rooted around for the right combination of hats, hoodies, gloves and rain gear. There were no complaints about the weather as the fivesome strolled down the first fairway of an empty course giggling and sharing stories from the day at school.
They were in their happy place.
Oxford coach Gretchen Gabler, 56, has worked for nine years to create a happy, safe place for her golfers. Bad weather, bad bounces, bad scores are not going to break their spirit – they’ve seen more than most their age, and have developed a mentality to deal with adversity and stay focused on the important things in life, says their coach.
And, aside from a few sprinkles, cold fingers, and searching for that missing floppy rain hat in the bottom of the golf bag, overcoming adversity has not been an issue this fall for the Wildcats. Gabler’s team is enjoying the most successful season in the program’s 28-year history. Oxford won the Oakland Activities Association White championship, and qualified for the Lower Peninsula Division 1 Finals – both first-time happenings for the program. The Wildcats, No. 8 in the current Michigan Interscholastic Golf Coaches Association Division 1 state rankings, will tee it up Friday and Saturday at Forest Akers West.
“It’s so nice to see (success) for those girls and Gretchen,” said Clarkston coach Lezlie Hallman, who has had a front-row seat watching the rise of Oxford girls golf. “My hat is off to them. They’ve earned everything this year. Gretchen goes above and beyond with those girls, and has worked hard to strengthen our league. Everyone loves her, and her girls. They cheer hard for everyone else on the golf course, and now my girls couldn’t be happier for them; I’m happy for the school – the whole community needs this kind of school success.”
This team’s success is a feel-good story for many after the November 2021 shooting that killed four and injured seven at Oxford High School.
“The shooting is not who we are, but something that happened to us,” Gabler said. “After the shooting, I told the parents ‘I don’t care if we ever win a game – I just want these girls to heal.’ So when I see them smile and giggle and laugh, it’s an amazing sign that they have carried forward.”’
They’ve smiled, giggled, and laughed this season, but they’ve also won.
This fall Oxford won five 18-hole events with five more top-five finishes. They have set school 9- and 18-hole scoring records (307 and 163). They’ve gone from league doormats to league champions over the last three years.
“We are definitely a close-knit team that has really come together since the shooting,” said senior Ellie Gieselman. “Since (the shooting) we’ve tried to play more for our school than for ourselves.”
Last year, Gieselman said, her team appreciated the support, but grew weary of the sympathetic looks when they showed up at events. And then they started carding low numbers.
“That’s happening a lot less now that we’re not at the bottom – people see us now more for how much game we have,” Gieselman said with a proud smile.
It’s been a long climb to the top for the Wildcats. Gabler was a stay-at-home married mom of two adult children when she took the program reins in 2014. She took up the game herself in her 30s and was an Oxford golf mom when her daughter played.
Knowing she wasn’t going to shape swings like a teaching professional, she focused on what she could do.
“In my first few years, I was teaching kids how to hold a club and swing and read greens,” she said. “I knew we weren’t in the same place as other schools in the league, but I knew we could be the team that knows the rules, counts all our strokes, plays with sportsmanship, and has fun.”
Those foundational principles, combined with Gabler’s enthusiasm, changed everything for the program. She soaked up every detail from the MHSAA Coaches Advancement Program classes for new coaches, asked veteran coaches for advice, begged friends and neighbors to encourage their daughters to play golf, and used social media to promote her girls golf program among Oxford-area moms. She guarantees a positive experience for all and refuses to make cuts. Gabler has team bonding events at her home, is visible at all school events, and can tell you each of her team member’s colleges of choice and future dream jobs.
She has an active team page on Facebook and an Instagram account where team members interview each other, competitors, and generally just have fun. The team has grown in size from 8 in 2014 to 30 in 2023.
Oxford golf parent Cari Yankee has five daughters, three of whom have played golf, including senior Lexie. Her twin eighth graders plan to join the squad next year.
“Gretch really loves these girls,” Yankee said. “She is fostering a love of golf, and she makes it a heck of a lot of fun. She never lets them get down on themselves and is so patient with them. She is a wonderful mentor, and as a parent, I never have to worry about the kids because I know how much she really cares for them and loves them. Ask anyone who has played for her, and you won’t find anyone who has a bad word about Gretch. She’s special.”
Gabler considered stepping down as coach a couple of years ago. The COVID-19 pandemic and the death of a former team member deeply impacted her. It was the hugs and support from the girls that brought her back for the 2021 season.
“I just couldn't walk away from those girls. And I’m really glad I didn’t quit because I wouldn’t have been there for them during the shooting, and for this fun season,” Gabler said.
During the 2021 shooting, she texted every member of her team, asking if they were physically safe. They were. In the days after, she arranged a Zoom meeting for the girls with a trauma counselor who worked with survivors of the 2018 Parkland, Fla., school shooting. Their emotional recovery became her primary focus, as she worked to provide them a safe zone where they could talk about the tragedy, or just play golf and have fun.
The team grew closer, Gabler saw healing taking place, and she began to notice something special about these girls.
“This group is different,” Gabler said. “They’re not just great athletes, they are great young women; they are kind, they are Godly – they’re just really good people. Being associated with them has been a great honor.”
The core group playing at the Finals consists of seniors Ellie Gieselman, Ella Flores, Keira Billis, Gabi Wait, and sophomore Katie Pill.
“We knew this season would be special,” Billis said. “We had a good team last year, and everyone worked hard over the summer to get better. We came out and won the first tournament of this season, and knew it was a great sign. And now, we’re off to states.”
Gabler is excited for the girls, and hopes they play well, but won’t be focused on the scoreboard. She simply wants the girls to revel in the moment, perform as well as they can, and just be kids.
Watching them walk side-by-side down the fairway on a cold, drizzly afternoon, Gabler said “Those girls care very much for each other, and for life. They have an understanding about life that many people cannot grasp because they have not faced their own mortality like these girls did at age 16. They are mature beyond their years, and yet they are still kids just having fun.”
Having fun in a safe, happy place, and developing the skills to help succeed in life – it’s what high school athletics is all about.
Ray Hill is a recently retired teacher from East Jackson High School who has done freelance writing for 40 years. He has also coached golf at East Jackson for 27 years and serves as public relations director for the Michigan Interscholastic Golf Coaches Association.
PHOTO From left: Oxford golfers Gabi Wait, Ellie Gieselman, Ella Flores, Keira Billis and Katie Pill. (Photo provided by the Michigan Interscholastic Golf Coaches Association.)
Performance: Notre Dame's Danielle Staskowski
October 24, 2018
Danielle Staskowski
Pontiac Notre Dame Prep senior – Golf
The Fighting Irish ace capped her career Saturday at Michigan State University’s Forest Akers East with her third Division 3 Finals individual championship – becoming just one of five Lower Peninsula girls to achieve that feat. She shot a two-day 152 and won a one-hole playoff to clinch the title, and led Notre Dame Prep to tie for fifth as a team in earning the Michigan Army National Guard “Performance of the Week.”
Staskowski has thrived in pressure situations. As a freshman, she won a playoff to claim the final individual qualifying spot from her Regional – and went on to take fourth at the Final. She missed most of her tennis season the following spring and then a summer of golf with a broken rib – but she came back in the fall and won her first MHSAA Finals also in a one-hole playoff while leading her team to a runner-up finish. She cleared the Finals field to win by eight strokes as a junior – shooting career-best rounds of 72 both days – in helping the Irish finish 13th. Staskowski owns school records for low 9 (34) and 18-hole scores and 9 and 18-hole averages. This season she averaged 37.3 strokes for nine-hole matches and 77.7 for 18.
This fall’s success followed a highlight-filled summer that included a run to the Round of 8 match play at the Michigan Women’s Amateur in August. Staskowski finished runner-up at the Oakland County Invitational in September and won her Regional with a 75 on the way to shining again in East Lansing. On the same day she won her third title, friend Anika Dy from Traverse City West also won her third straight Division 1 championship as together they became the first to win three titles since another friend, Maple City Glen Lake’s Nichole Cox, won three straight in Division 4 from 2014-16. Staskowski is committed to continue her career next year at Central Michigan University. She carries a 3.4 grade-point average and is considering studying biomedical engineering.
Coach Kyle Lilek said: “Dani has been playing golf for about 15 years. She practices every day, has taken lessons from a variety of swing coaches, and even taken lessons from a mental coach. She has always worked hard at her game and dedicated herself to golf. However, at her freshman year tryout she stepped up to the tee, and due to nerves, duffed her tee shot; I always remember that story, because as talented as she is, she's still a teenage girl who deals with the same obstacles as anyone else ... and overcomes them all. … Dani thrives when presented with obstacles, and her high school golf career is proof of that fact. She has played and won three playoffs in the past four years. … This is what she does, and she thrives when presented with direct competition. It can seem overwhelming and super-human to achieve at Dani's level the way she does, but I never forget how human she is. … Dani is just a large heart with limbs. Her empathy, compassion, and friendship is what made her a leader and captain on the team, not her skill. She's the type of girl to console a frustrated teammate, even after winning a state title. I've always been proud of Dani; I've been proud of her skill, proud of her competitive spirit, but I've been most proud of her heart. She's a three-time state champion because of her fiercely competitive spirit, and because of her caring heart. I will miss her next year, but I'll always be proud of her, and I'll always have her back.”
Performance Point: “After I made my putt on Saturday, and my team running onto the green, is always something I'm never going to forget. All the support from them, that's something that will always stick out. … What's funny about it actually is that I grew up golfing with Anika (Dy) and with Nichole Cox, so it's a crazy thing to think because we all did the same golf camp when we were younger. So me and my dad were laughing about it – we said, ‘I guess the camp works out pretty well.’ It's such an amazing thing to accomplish (three championships) with my best friends. We've been talking about it all week, and just bringing up old memories from camp and just stuff like that. It's been a pretty cool couple of days just getting to talk with (Anika) and experiencing this together.”
Mastering the mental game: “The biggest thing for me is treating everything the same. Whether it's a really big international tournament, or it's a regular tournament for high school, treating everything the same and never feeling like I have an advantage over anybody else and just going into it like everybody has a chance to win this. I work with Jason Novetsky, who is a really great mindset coach, and we work on stuff with that all the time – on trying to keep my mind in it, and focused, and not on the future and the outcome. I think that's been a big help for me. … Golf is so day to day. You just have to always remember that anybody can win it, anybody could have the round of their life, to always play every shot the best you can. I think that's what really just keeps me in the moment and helps me out.”
On to the next shot: “I’ve learned how to deal with things that don't go well on the course better now. I wouldn't say I used to panic when things went wrong on the course, but I've learned to really use the mindset that the next shot is so important. If you hit it into a pond or if you hit it into something where you weren't expected to hit it – the rough or in a bunker – you just play that shot, and then move on and try to birdie the next hole. Moving on from something that didn't go as planned is something I'm doing a lot better, and just remembering that it's a game.”
It’s always been golf: “I've been playing golf my entire life. It's just always stayed that thing that I love, because I never let it turn into a chore. Every time I go out and play, it's fun. If I'm trying to beat myself, or if I'm trying to beat the course … it's just something that's always fun to me. I'm always happy to be out there playing, never felt like I have to go and practice, that I have to go do this. I think that keeping it fun for me has been why it's still my thing. I never go on a golf course and don't want to be there. With my mindset coach, another thing we talk about all the time is you don't have to go play golf; you get to play golf, which is something I keep in my head all the time. I've had the opportunity to go out and play golf all the time, and it's fun for me, and I'm going to take that opportunity and I'm going to keep it fun. Plus, I grew close to a lot of girls in the golf community, so usually when I'm at tournaments, it's with the people that I really like to be around and that have the same goals as me. It just keeps it really fun and light-hearted.”
More than a team: “My golf team is my family, and if they need anything any time, they know they can call me, they can come to me and I'll do anything in my power to support them and be a good captain. If they need swing advice and they want help with it, I'll help them out with it. Or if they need notes from a course that I have, I'll walk them through it or we'll go out and play a round together and I'll give them advice. Even outside of golf too; we're best friends on the golf course, and we're best friends in the hallway. That was a really big thing for me when I became one of the captains last year; we are a team, but I want us to also be a family. I just wanted to have a group of girls that could rely on each other even when we're not playing our sport, outside of school. … I wanted it to be a really friendly, family-like environment, and I think that's what happened this year, which was really exciting for me.”
- Geoff Kimmerly, Second Half editor
Every week during the 2018-19 school year, Second Half and the Michigan Army National Guard will recognize a “Performance of the Week" from among the MHSAA's 750 member high schools.
The Michigan Army National Guard provides trained and ready forces in support of the National Military Strategy, and responds as needed to state, local, and regional emergencies to ensure peace, order, and public safety. The Guard adds value to our communities through continuous interaction. National Guard soldiers are part of the local community. Guardsmen typically train one weekend per month and two weeks in the summer. This training maintains readiness when needed, be it either to defend our nation's freedom or protect lives and property of Michigan citizens during a local natural disaster.
Past 2018-19 honorees
October 18: Adam Bruce, Gladstone cross country - Read
October 11: Ericka VanderLende, Rockford cross country - Read
October 4: Kobe Clark, Schoolcraft football - Read
September 27: Jonathan Kliewer, Grand Rapids Forest Hills Northern soccer - Read
September 20: Kiera Lasky, Bronson volleyball - Read
September 13: Judy Rector, Hanover-Horton cross country - Read
PHOTOS: (Top) Pontiac Notre Dame Prep's Danielle Staskowski fires a shot during Saturday's second round at Forest Akers East. (Middle) Staskowski follows one of her iron shots during Friday's first round. (Top photo by Jason Schmitt.)